These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.
Once Upon a Time
Regina: If you ensured her goodness, why can’t you tell her?
Mary-Margaret: The same reason you don’t want Henry to hear about all the terrible things you did in your past. You wanna protect him, so he doesn’t lose faith in the person you’ve become, the person he always believed you could be. That’s why Emma can never find out what I’m about to tell you. She’s finally starting to open up her heart. And if she learns the truth, if we let her down, she’ll lose faith in us, and it could send her tumbling down a dark path. Because when you betray the people you love, when you make them see the worst parts of you, what you’ve done changes everything. There’s no going back. You’ve shattered the bonds you worked so hard to forge. And the stronger those bonds once were, the more difficult they are the put back together, if they can be repaired at all.
Frank: Prison is no place for a man with naturally tight glutes.
Frank: I’m the goddamn father-of-the-bride. Why didn’t I get an invitation?
Sammy: Because you’re an untrained dog, Pops, and no one wants you shitting on the floor.
House of Lies
Marty: Prison makes smarter criminals.
Kevin: You’re very cute when you’re wrong.
Meghan: So, you gotta pick *one* of them? How do you sleep at night?
Blake: I don’t. I drink.
Jane the Virgin
Rogelio: Turns out I’m equally talented in outer space as I am here on Earth.
Raylan: Zachariah Randolph.
Tim: Let me guess. Local boy. How come no one down here is ever named Steve or Justin?
Ty: Bullshit. You shot me in the back.
Raylan: If you wanted to get hit in the front, you should have run *toward* me.
Raylan: You’re a good lawyer. All the good ones have ponytails.
Ava: Your neck is just as red as mine, you just don’t see it ’cause you’re always walkin’ forward.
Clarke: I tried…I tried to be the good guy.
Abbie: Maybe there are no good guys.
Clarke: I bear it so they don’t have to.
Lucious: You know how God made man in his image? I’m making Hakeem in *my* image. God didn’t need no help, and neither do I.
Lolly: What am I doing with my life? Is there a god? Does Jordan Catalano really love me? Etcetera.
Sebastian: I care about you in a way that’s totally appropriate and non-sexual.
The Vampire Diaries
Liam: Caroline Forbes. The girl from the swimming hole.
Caroline: Liam. The boy I totally forgot existed!
Caroline: You know how cute guys just naturally taste better?