These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.
Vargas: You bring women to fight your battles?
Constance: Perhaps I bring men to fight mine.
Once Upon a Time
Poseidon: As long as you live in my ocean, you will live by my rules.
Hook: Maybe she was right. Maybe villains can’t get their happy endings.
Ariel: Maybe that’s because villains always go about getting them the wrong way.
Mary-Margaret: First thing you learn as a bandit: the back door’s usually unlocked.
Frank: You’re my favorite dying person I’ve ever met.
Veronica: Why would anyone want to be with you?
Frank: Well, why wouldn’t they?
Kermit: Chlamydia and herpes for starters. Poor hygiene, alcoholism, lack of a moral compass…
Frank: Fine. But my good qualities vastly out weigh my bad ones.
Veronica: Name one.
Frank: How about, uh, a lust for adventure, a bottomless libido.
Frank: I show up with drugs, companionship, pro bono sex. What more could a dying woman want?
Kevin: You’re going on about honesty, maybe *you* should look in the mirror.
Patrick: I just did and I look fine. My hair is looking a little middle-aged-lesbian but, whatever.
Sue: You know, a great big fat person once stood on this stage and told a group of a dozen or so nerds in hideous disco outfits that “glee,” by its very definition, is about opening yourself up to joy. Now, it’s no secret that for a long time, I thought that was a load of hooey. As far as I can see, the Glee Club is nothing more than a place where a bunch of cowardly losers go to sing their troubles away, and delude themselves that they live in a world that cares one iota about their hopes and dreams, totally divorced from the harsh reality that out in the real world, there’s not much more to hope for than disappointment, heartbreak and failure. You know what? I was exactly right. That’s exactly what Glee Club is. But I was wrong about the cowardly part. What I finally realize, now that I’m well into my late thirties, it takes a lot of bravery to look around you and see the world, not as it is, but as it should be. A world where the quarterback becomes best friends with the gay kid, and the girl with the big nose ends up on Broadway. Glee is about imagining a world like that, and finding the courage to open up your heart and sing about it. That’s what Glee Club is. And, for the longest time, I thought that was silly. And now, I think it’s just about the bravest thing that anyone could do.
Chang: Could you guys be bigger nerds?
Abed: No, most of us have achieved our maximum potential.
Caitlin: I was just explaining to Iris and Eddie about your lightning psychosis.
Barry: My what now?
Caitlin: Your lightning psychosis. How your recent odd behavior is a side effect of being struck by lightning. Mood swings, sudden outbursts of affection and other lapses in judgement.
Iris: He has had all of those things! He told me that he had ESP!
Caitlin: It’s a very uncommon neurological phenomenon. We’re really only just now starting to research it in kerauno-medicine. That’s why Barry’s been spending so much time at S.T.A.R. Labs.
Iris: I just, I wish you would have told me.
Barry: It hardly feels real sometimes.
Liv: What’s more meta than a zombie having a bad zombie dream?
Blaine: First rule of Brain Club: you don’t talk about Brain Club.
Ray: Nice to meet you. Ray Palmer.
Diggle: John Diggle. (whispers) You hurt her, they’ll never find your body.
Roy: Ray built a supersuit? That’s kinda awesome…aand reckless.
Barry: What is that?!
Beverly: It’s a harlequin clown, riding a unicorn, high-fiving a dolphin. Duh!
Hart of Dixie
Annabeth: I don’t know why we’re still talking. Why don’t we get in the house and see how fast you can take your clothes off!
Grandma Bettie: I am a cold-hearted witch, but that story really gets me.
Ramse: I killed you, without lifting a finger.
TURN: Washington’s Spies
Reverend Tallmadge: A man may believe in freedom from tyranny and not be a rebel or a traitor. If he is not free to make up his own mind, that is the *worst* form of tyranny.