These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.
The Good Wife
Diane: The law is supposed to be fair, not impersonal.
Klaus: Honestly, it’s all temper and no timing with this one. I, for one, am glad you gave her away so that I could be born. You should think of me as an upgrade.
Jane the Virgin
Narrator: There is a famous saying: if you can’t be with the one you love, love the identical twin of the guy you were cheating with.
Jamie: I swear on the cross of my Lord Jesus, and by the holy iron which I hold, that I give you my fealty and pledge you my loyalty. If ever my hand is raised in rebellion against you again, then I ask that this holy iron may piece my heart.
Jamie: Seems I cannot possess your soul without losing my own.
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Coulson: You always travel with whiskey and shot glasses?
Hunter: Never know when you need something to keep you warm on a cold night.
Coulson: Two glasses?
Hunter: The other one’s for the person keeping me warm…but in your case I’ll make an exception.
Fawn: You don’t really strike me as the “networking” type. You’re more of a “follow a butterfly around for a day” kinda gal.
Schmidt: How about a fake beard? Get some double-sided tape, we can shave Winston’s cat…
Blaine: I made you a zombie, but I would never make you a whore.
Maggie: Last time I was in New Jersey, it was illegal to pump your own gas.
Liza: It still is.
Maggie: Still? So, same-sex marriage is legal, but pumping your own gas isn’t?
Maggie: I like New Jersey!
Ramse: It took time travel to create time travel. There are no straight lines.