These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.
The Great British Baking Show
Howard: When I’ve made this previously, people were quite impressed… That was my mum and dad, though.
The Good Wife
Grace: (On the phone) Alicia Florrick, Attorney-at-Law…Yes, she’s busy, your honor. Can she call you back?
Alicia: Who is it?
Grace: No one. I’m calling myself.
How I Met Your Mother
Robin: Have you ever had one of those days where nothing at all that monumental happens but, by the end of it, you have no idea who you are anymore or what they hell you’re doing with your life?
Weller: I’ve been looking for you my whole life.
Lucy: Hello. I’m your new home operating system. My name is Lucy. What’s yours?
Castle: My name is Rick Castle and…and…my wife just left me.
Lucy: Yikes. Sucks to be you, Rick.
Iris: If you keep getting no for an answer, stop asking questions.
Joe: I say that! You quotin’ me to me?
Iris: What can I say? You are a *very* smart man.
Caitlin: That light was perfect bait. What made you think of that?
Cisco: I don’t know. I think I saw it in a comic book somewhere.
Oliver: Felicity Smoak, you have failed this omelet.
Coach Mellor: Third graders, out! You have no use to me until you develop adult bodies that can play something besides tag!
Pops: Rugelach is a friendship food.
Hakeem: Wow, mom, you really whipped ’em into shape. Where’d you learn this from?
You’re The Worst
Gretchen: This is the most Jimmy thing you have ever done.
Lindsey: Men are mean and they hurt my brain.
The Vampire Diaries
Caroline: I thought I would heal from my mom’s death. I really thought that time would pass and, one day, I would be ready to move on. But she’s my mom and I’m never going to stop missing her.
Stefan: Well, that’s life, Caroline. I mean, you can’t just sit back and wait for the good parts to happen. What you can do is, you can forgive yourself for trying to be happy during the bad parts.
Molly: Forget the past, Noah. Save the future.
Mr. Johnson: The house doesn’t do favors. The house does deals.
Oskar: How long have you been in the army?
Stonebridge: Since the day I left school.
Oskar: So, everything you know in life, it is because you’re a soldier.
Oskar: Have a family? Have a home?
Stonebridge: I had a wife. I would have been a father. I think things would have been different. There’s a world in which Michael Stonebridge is fixing the fence, and he’s arguing with his missus, and the kids are running around the garden, and they’re driving him nuts, and he… he loves every second of it, because he’s found his place in the world.
Oskar: But that is not real.
Stonebridge: No, it’s not. That didn’t happen. I can’t even imagine that world anymore. I’m almost… almost grateful because I don’t have to love or care for anyone. I don’t have to share anything. This is all I have.
Oskar: But there is a problem. You and him walking here, the state you’re in. There is trouble.
Stonebridge: Yeah, yeah there’s trouble.
Oskar: You’re scared.
Stonebridge: No, I’m not scared. Part of me hopes I die a soldier, because without this life, I’m nothing. This is all I have. This is all that I am.
Oskar: Life, it is not so bad, wherever you are. Maybe you have to get old before you can see that.