These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.
Once Upon a Time
Merlin: It’s easier to live with the darkness if you can dress it up as vengeance.
Regina: Tell your timbers to stop shivering, pirate.
Zelina: Artie here may have a shorter sword than a man would like, but it can control the world’s greatest wizard.
Kara: I’m not Superman’s cousin. I’m Supergirl! And if I’m going to be defined, it’s going to be by my victories and my loses. No one else’s.
Jane the Virgin
Narrator: Okay. You know what? This is way too stressful. I’m out.
Castle: You majored in opera singing?
Slaughter: No! Musical theater.
Slaughter: Yeah, and if you tell anyone, I’m gonna force feed ya your spleen through your nose.
Castle: Yeah, I’m sorry, I’m tryin’ to be scared, I just keep picturing you doing jazz hands.
Joe: You’re putting a whole lot of faith in the man wearing the face of your mother’s killer.
Barry: You wanna be a hero?
Zoom: Heroes die.
Barry: Only if you can catch them.
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Rosalind: Phantom pain. The thing that’s missing is the thing that you feel the most.
Coulson: Makes it hard to forget.
Rosalind: So maybe you don’t. But it’s also important to look ahead, see what’s in front of you.
Valerie: That’s a really nice coat rack.
Oliver: Your mom doesn’t really take ‘no’ for an answer.
Felicity: You faced down Mirakuru soldiers *and* The League of Assassins, are you honestly telling me that you can’t say ‘no’ to my mother?!
Oliver: She said she missed you and then she texted me one of those emojis with the single tear.
Felicity: You have been *texting* with my mother?! How long has that been going on?!
Diggle: You guys think we could find a better time to fight about this?
Felicity: John? I thought only Oliver’s line was open.
Diggle: Nope, mine is open.
Thea and Laurel: And mine.
Sara: I don’t remember there being so much chatter on these missions.
Felicity: I’m not sure our company health plan covers supernatural dismemberment.
Felicity: We’re gonna be fine.
Oliver: How can you be so sure?
Felicity: Because we found ourselves in each other.
Beverly: You want me out of your life? You got it. We’ll see how you do without me for a week.
Erica: You know that isn’t a punishment, right?
Beverly: Oh, we’ll see. And when you come crawling back, begging for your mother’s help and guidance, we both know what’ll happen then.
Erica: You’ll scoop me up in your arms…
Beverly: And smother you with kisses. Deal with that, sucka!
You’re the Worst
Lindsey: I thought all English people were fancy, but these are like Alabama English people
The Vampire Diaries
Valerie: They’re not on the map, Caroline. They’re inside of you.
Mr. Johnson: Seems the one thing you dislike more than playing the game is being left out of it.