These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Once Upon a Time
Zelina: Let’s just say, when the Dark One offers you onion rings, don’t eat them!

Regina: There’s a difference between not knowing something and not *wanting* to admit it.

Supergirl
Cat: I put her in that helicopter. If anyone should feel guilty, it’s me. Not that I do.

Cat: The world is full of so much noise and snark. Much of it we generate. Today, why don’t we elevate this city’s level of discourse instead with a photo essay of all the people who spent their holidays volunteering at soup kitchens and shelters. Let’s see if we can’t bring some attention to those organizations.
Kara: I think that’s a great idea.
Cat: Well, of course you do. I pitched it. Thanksgiving sells. Liberals love to feel guilty, so let’s just squeeze as much juice out of those turkeys as we can.

Jane the Virgin
Magda: I think the Russian red-haired lady in the kitchen is trying to poison me.

Narrator: For those of you keeping track at home, that’s now three children for Rafael and zero sex.

Blindspot
You guys are about as funny as I thought you’d be.

The Flash
Grodd: Foolish human. I. Am. Grodd.

iZombie
Ravi: I have located the source of that awful smell, and it is *not* Clive’s new cologne
Liv: You can do better than that.
Ravi: It played very well in my head.

The Originals
Elijah: These pathetic lies promise to be as difficult to swallow as your stuffing this year, Niklaus. Walnuts. Honestly.

The Player
Agent Nolan: I’d like to know where you fit into this organization.
Cassandra: Well, since we’re just making things up, I’ll be Jedi Princess of Leprechauns.