Quotes of the Week: February 7-13

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Cat: If they try to evade you, you remind them that I am still holding on to their Hamilton tickets!

Maxwell: That was one messed up daffodil.

The X-Files
Detective Gross: I don’t want to be confrontational here…
Mulder: It wouldn’t be Philadelphia without a *certain* degree of confrontation.

Mulder: Cutler’s eye-line is trained above the door, about Tim Duncan height. We eliminate any 76ers, ’cause those guy can’t find the rim.

Scully: I don’t care about the big questions right now, Mulder. I just want one more chance to ask my mom a few little ones.

Jane the Virgin
Narrator: This is making me feel a little pervy.

New Girl
Reagan: I think he’s having a seizure.
Cece: No, no. It’s just that when he has to process a lot of emotions, sometimes he likes to do Nick Cannon’s solo from Drumline.

Schmidt: Everybody knows that there is a window of time before any wedding where some amazing person comes out of the woodwork and tries to steal a bride. It’s the plot of every romantic comedy. I’m the Bridgette Wilson-Sampras here!
Cece: Who?
Reagan: I don’t know.
Schmidt: Oh, I suppose you’re both too “cool’ to have seen THE WEDDING PLANNER!

Winston: I’m sorry that I basically let you drown in the shower. And then called you a soggy little bitch.

Agent Carter
Sousa: It’s just like taking a soufflé out of the oven. Probably.

Jarvis: You know, these adventures, they’re only enjoyable if you return from them, Miss Carter.

Lucifer: Do I get a code word? You know, for when you take her down. If so, might I suggest “monkey bottoms”? ‘Cause trust me, I can work that into any sentence quite naturally.

Liza: They have no idea what causes it? Or…
Doctor: Sure they do. Age. It’s just the kind of thing that starts happening in your forties. You know, you’re losing your reproductive function, so nature deems you unnecessary and, therefore, ready for decay.

Legends of Tomorrow
Ray: We’re trying to save the world and you’re lifting wallets?
Snart: It’s called multi-tasking.

The 100
Lexa: I’m the Commander. No one fights for me.

Clarke: No one can cast a king out of his kingdom.

The Vampire Diaries
Caroline: I love you.
Stefan: Are you talking to me, or are you talking to the fries?
Caroline: Do you *want* me to lie to you?

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