These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

The Good Wife
Eli: Now I get why people have children. They can admire themselves in someone else.

Shameless
Professor Youens: We have only two jobs on this earth. The first, to learn. The second, to cope.

Downton Abbey
Daisy: Oh my God!
Mrs. Hughes: I will thank you not to take the name of the Lord in vain.
Daisy: I hope it’s not in vain! I need all the help I can get.

Anna: They do say that opposites attract.
Lady Mary: Yes, they attract. But do they live happily ever after?

Castle
Beckett: Be charming, but not too charming.
Castle: That’s like asking Superman not to be too super.

Lucifer
Dan: What in God’s name are you doing here?
Lucifer: Nothing in His name. Here on my own, actually.

The Magicians
Margo: A great way to get the things you want is to be so miserable you don’t want them anymore.

Lost Girl
Tamsin: She broke my heart.
Acacia: Silver lining: it made you stronger.

New Girl
Winston: Oh yeah, this woman just made my nonsexual to-do list.
Cece: You have a *sexual* to-do list?
Schmidt: Cece, don’t ask.
Winston: Number one…
Cece: I already regret it.
Winston: Joan Allen.

Agent Carter
Jarvis: Miss Carter, do you not feel that the sudden and inexplicable reappearance of the signal is rather convenient?
Peggy: It isn’t inexplicable, Mr. Jarvis. We’re walking into a trap.

Arrow
Oliver: Maybe less glitter.

Felicity:The first time we met, the first thing you asked me to do was pull data off a damaged laptop. It’s kind of romantic.

Legends of Tomorrow
Snart: This isn’t my first prison break.

The Vampire Diaries
Bonnie: Tell him I don’t deal with shady, old lady corpse stealers.

Caroline: I just wish it didn’t always have to be you.

Second Chance
Duval: You want me to get a DNA sample of the blood from an elf ear?