These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.
Frank: People that can hurt you, the ones that can really hurt you, are the ones that are close enough to do it. People that get inside you and… and… and tear you apart, and make you feel like you’re never gonna recover. Shit. I’d-I-I would chop my arm off right here, in this restaurant, just to feel that one more time for my wife. My old lady, she didn’t just break my heart. She… she’d rip it out, she’d tear it apart, she’d step on that shit, feed it to a dog. I mean, she was ruthless. She brought the pain. But she’ll never hurt me again. You see, I’ll never feel that. You sit here and you’re all confused about this thing, but you have it. You have everything. So, hold on to it. Use two hands and never let go. You got it?
Cat: If Mel Gibson can present at the Golden Globes, then Supergirl can win the city back.
Lucy: It all makes sense now.
Siobhan: Seriously? I have too much self-esteem to kill myself.
Jane the Virgin
Pablo: Electricity is a funny thing. No one really understands it.
Lucifer: Frank Lawrence. The most evil of people have the most normal names, I’ve experienced. Beware anyone named Keith.
Father Lawrence: We might not always understand it, but God has a plan.
Lucifer: Yes, I know. But, why does everybody always think it’s a *good* plan?
Bo: It’s the end of an era.
Kensi: Who needs weapons when you’ve got…mascara and heels?
Bo: I promise you will not grow up a lost girl.
Dr. Wells: You lose a chunk of your humanity every time you compromise your values.
Cisco: Why do the crazy ones always name themselves?
Winston: Work was crazy, okay? I busted a poker room, which was a front for a crack house, which was a front for a brothel. It was a crime turducken.
Jess: Have you ever had your eyebrows combed by a woman you just met?
Jess: If your files had been clearly marked, none of this would be happening! You need better labels!
Schmidt: Everything is perfectly clear! Chairs are color-coded under chartreuse, because it sounds like “chair-truths.” Salmon mongers are filed under fuchsia, because I “re-fuchsia” to serve salmon at this wedding. The groomsmen tuxes are under magenta, because “ma-gentlemen” will be wearing the dope tuxes.
The Real O’Neals
Kenny: What would she even wear on a date? She’s got regular khakis and capri khakis. Like, that’s it.
Pat: This reminds me of a time in high school when I rented a little adult film about some young ladies at a summer camp. It got stuck in the VCR.
Shannon: Gross! What’s a VCR?
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Hunter: Do you want to know the key to a good mushroom soup? Dried porcinis.
Coulson: Bobbi and Hunter never cracked under questioning. Even to save each other. They did that for S.H.I.E.L.D., they did that for us, and they paid the price.
Mac: No, they…they just can’t take the fall.
Coulson: Mac, it was their choice. After everything they’ve done, they deserve that choice.
Ravi: I am only giving this untested version to you *because* of the potential of *your* death leaving Seattle zombies unfed.
Blaine: So it’s not the love that dare not speak its name brewing between us?
Ravi: Reasonably certain.
Senator Morra: This fight, it’s not about who’s gonna control this world. It’s about who’s gonna build the next one.
Oliver: The way that you make me feel is the best part of my life.
Charles: Most things in life are out of your control. You work hard and you try to be good, but shit happens.