Quotes of the Week: April 11-17

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Cat: Call Harrison Ford and tell him that I’m flattered but, once and for all, I do not date older men. Especially when they’re married.

Non: The human race finally has a chance to live, or it would suffer the same fate as Krypton. And the same thing is happening on Earth, with a populace more interested in reality stars and political circuses than working together to solve the world’s problems.
Max: So, mind control is the answer to global warming. Why didn’t I think of that?

Cat: Hope is stronger than fear.

Zapata: Aldebaran is the brightest star in Taurus, as in, the Taurus bull…What? I like stars and I was very unpopular in high school.

David: I’m gonna go.
Paterson: I don’t want you to.
David: I know. But, I’m already gone.

Prince Hasheim: If one wished to keep priceless history safe from looters and terrorists, there is no better place for them to wait out the conflict than in the basement of the Smithsonian.

Castle: I think I’m all done with genies.
Beckett: What? Why the change of heart?
Castle: Well, because of you, of course.
Beckett: Oh, really? So, after eight years, some of my common sense has finally rubbed off on you?
Castle: No. No, no, no, nothing like that. Uhm, I have no need for genies simply because I already have everything I could ever wish for.
Beckett: Right back atcha, handsome. Oh, wait, uhm, so you wouldn’t even wish for a working light saber?
Castle: Nope.
Beckett: Okay. Transporter, like the ones in Star Trek? You would never have to fly again.
Castle: I like flying.
Beckett: Huh. Time machine?
Castle: Only to go back and fall in love with you all over again.
Beckett: Wow, that was a good answer.
Castle: I know, right?

Liv: Major is a zombie.
Clive: Metaphorically?

Liv: A massive zombie outbreak means never having to say you’re sorry.

Vivian: Vivian Stoll, Fillmore-Graves Enterprises.
Clive: Clive Babineaux, Seattle PD. This is Liv Moore from the Medical Examiner’s office.
Vivian: You’re gonna be a busy girl.
Major: Major Lilywhite. Personal Trainer.

New Girl
Connie: I’m Connie, the owner. You’re the nutmeg wholesaler?
Nick: Me? No, I’m not the nutmeg wholesaler.
Connie: You have a nutmeg wholesaler vibe.
Cece: That’s what it is! I’ve been trying to figure it out for years! You *totally* look like a nutmeg wholesaler!

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Coulson: This is not Ward.
Daisy: Sure is creepy, like Ward.

Coulson: So, Hydra’s in the oil business now? It’s like they’re not even trying to avoid the bad guy clichés.

Haylie: You dope fiend, hick, son of a bitch.
Wade: That’s right. I’m a regular triple threat.

Booth: Coffee?
Aubrey: Not if we’re still out of cinnamon.
Booth: We work at the FBI, Aubrey. We don’t put cinnamon in our coffee.
Aubrey: It’s my favorite spice!

The 100
Bellamy: What do you do when you realize you might not be the good guy?
Clarke: Maybe there are no good guys.

Orphan Black
Beth: Can you knit me together? Or just tear me apart?

Game of Silence
Jackson: What would you do?
Gil: I’d set ’em on fire, shoot ’em in the face, and go get a bag of tacos.

Murtagh: Only in France does a King need an audience to shite.

Geordie: Are you avoiding me?
Sidney: Not successfully.

House of Lies
Clyde: My character is a dwarf with a mangy white beard who’s constantly sneezing, and I always whistle while I work.
Marty: I know this guy!
Doug: You know nothing, alright? Because dwarves are actually very strong fighters and *incredibly* adept at deflecting magic. Not like those shit heads who hang out with Snow White.

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