These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

The Good Wife
Alicia: You think you can play the emotional card with me? You think I’m gonna break down and cry? Look at me. Do I look like I’m breaking down?

Lucca: Who do you want to come home to every night? Who do you want to see when you open your door?

Alicia: I’ll love you forever.
Will: I’m okay with that.

Game of Thrones
Tormund: They think you’re some kind of god. The man who returned from the dead.
Jon: I’m not a god.
Tormund: I know that. I saw your pecker. What kind of god would have a pecker that small?

Lady Olenna: Margaery is the queen. You are *not* the queen because you are not married to the king. I do appreciate that things can get a bit confusing in your family.

Jaqen: If a girl is truly no one, she has nothing to fear.

Veep
President Meyer: Can I *really* blame another country for something they didn’t do?
Ben: It’s been the cornerstone of American foreign policy since the Spanish-American War.

Elementary
Morland: Being loved by you is a dangerous thing, Sherlock. Probably why I’m still alive. Men like us, we’re not meant to make such connections.

Jane the Virgin
Xiomara: Where are you going?
Jane: To make sure Petra doesn’t corrupt Rafael’s soul.

12 Monkeys
Cole: We need to bury the past. It’s the only way to save the future.

Blindspot
Weller: These *look* like they belong in a museum.
Patterson: Thank you! I collect a lot of cool stuff.

Castle
Alexis: We’re going to open it now, right?
Castle: Well, duh. When an axe-wielding psychopath is killed by a demon trying to get inside, clearly, whatever’s in there is worth seeing.

The Flash
Barry: So you’re saying, I’m-I’m talking to the source of my power, which just so happens to look like… my adoptive dad? That’s trippy.
“Joe”: We pretty much invented trippy here.

“Henry”: Your mother’s death happened to you, Barry. It made you who you are, but have you accepted it, really accepted losing her? Maybe that’s why you couldn’t come here, ’cause that would make it real.
Barry: I know it’s real. Every day I know it. I had a chance to save her. You saw what I chose.
“Henry”: And you’re at peace with that decision?
Barry: “At peace.” How could someone ever be at peace with letting his mother die… Deciding that his life was more valuable than hers?
“Henry”: Do you really think your mother would have wanted you to die for her? And out of all the people the Flash saved as a result of that decision, what about them? Do their lives have value too?

Cisco: I’m so glad you’re back, ’cause we’re about to die.
Barry: Wait, what?
Cisco: So…
Wells: Girder.
Cisco: Girder came back to life, and he’s all Young Frankenstein now, and he only recognizes Iris, and she lured him to my workshop so we could demagnetize him, but the machine shorted out, so he’s about to come through that door and smush us all into chunky salsa and possibly eat our brains out. I don’t know. Jury’s still out on that.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Elena: Evil preys on the weak, because it fears the strong.

New Girl
Cece: Just when I thought you couldn’t make me any happier, look what you did today. You’re amazing.
Schmidt: I hope for as long as we stay together, that I always remain someone that you want to hollah at.
Cece: I look forward to a lifetime of joy, growth, and constant mispronunciation of common words.
Schmidt: For the first time, I see what the rest of my life looks like.

Arrow
Lyla: The President asked me if the fate of the world is resting in the hands of an IT girl, a criminal, and two guys in Halloween costumes.

Orphan Black
Cosima: These are human beings that you’re tinkering with! Trial and error without consent!

Banshee
Job: Sugar, where’s my computer?
Sugar: Exactly where you left it.
Job: Well, it ain’t gonna fetch itself.

Dawson: Nothing more annoying than a psychopath who engages in Socratic debate.

Outlander
Murtagh: If you believe your wife to be a witch, then who am I to contradict you?

Claire: This whole thing’s dangerous.
Jamie: ‘Tis.
Claire: Every now and then it is okay for you to lie to me, you know? Just to put my mind at ease.
Jamie: I’ll remember that next time.