These are my favorite quotes from the past two weeks, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

The Last Ship
Allison: What do you wanna give ’em?
President Michener: Nothing. Except maybe my middle finger.

12 Monkeys
Charlie: When it comes down to it, the only thing you’ll be wishing for is more time. Trust me.

Jennifer: So much for backgammon in Palm Springs!

UnReal
Chet: This has to stay in the family.

Graham: What do you think, Rach? Is that okay for an act break? Tension over who to choose?
Rachel: Yes, Graham, it’s fine, but don’t think, okay? It makes you look fat.

Happy Town
Handsome Dan Farmer: I’m a firm believer that all of a society’s ills could be quelled if everybody just had a little pudding.

Bones
Brennan: I don’t need to hear him tell me that I was right. It’s enough to know that *he* knows I was right.

The Last Ship
Cruz: Tell Maddie and Christopher, their uncle was a bad ass.

12 Monkeys
Lillian: It’s not over, James. Green to red to dead.

UnReal
Quinn: Welcome back, meat puppet!

Adam: This place is a vortex of evil and dysfunction.

Animal Kingdom
Pope: I can’t tell which version of me you like better. Drugged up or crazy. I kinda think you like me crazy. Less competition.

Baz: If you’re gonna cross a line, you make sure it’s a line worth crossing.

Looking
Patrick: It would be nice wouldn’t it, to finally find something by mistake that makes sense.

Augustín: I’ve become Neil Patrick Harris, only not as cool because I can’t tap dance.

Patrick: Do you honestly think we would have worked?
Kevin: I’d like to have given it a try.

Richie: Just because you feel you shouldn’t need something doesn’t mean you don’t.