These are my favorite quotes from the past two weeks, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

The Royals
Robert: Okay, everyone, we’re going to be extremely British right now and pretend that none of that just happened.

The Man in the High Castle
Ron: Used to be I thought victory was winning. Then I convinced myself it’s surviving. The truth is, I know I should do more.

No Tomorrow
Kareema: Detroit?! I can’t go to Michigan. That state’s shaped like a mitten, it’s way too adorable.

Talia: He is a model of the typical post-election American. Totally terrified that the end of the world is coming via a fiery orange nightmare barreling straight toward us.

This Is Us
Toby: I would totally marry you, if that’s something you’re down with.
Kate: You would?
Toby: I’d marry the hell outta you, Kate Pearson.
Kate: You would? Wait, just like that?
Toby: Just like that? It was just like that from the moment I met you, kid.

Shooter
Jack: You’ll never shoot. You’re a housewife.
Julie: I’m a Swagger.

Elementary
Sheriff Malick: Obviously, we haven’t been dealing with *one* clown the last two weeks. We’ve been dealing with two.
Sherlock: Yeah, at least two. You never know with clowns.

The Royals
Eleanor: Whoa! What happened to your eye?!
Queen: Oh, that. I was attacked by figgy pudding whilst having spontaneous sexual intercourse.

Robert: Sparrow, I’m not going to apologize for being alive. For coming home.
Liam: I say thank you every day for that you’re back and alive and well. But I won’t apologize either.
Robert: For what?
Liam: For being the person I’ve become since you left.

No Tomorrow
Dr. Fields: Your theory. It’s been confirmed.

Kareema: I’m not gonna cry twice in one year. That is revolting!

Sweet/Vicious
Ophelia: I can’t be the one that heals you, and for that I’m sorry.

Kennedy: You deserve to be heard. And you will be heard.

Blindspot
Jane: Feelings aren’t like memories. You can’t just pull them out of a file. I think that they have to be earned.

Lethal Weapon
Riggs: I do know CPR.
Murtaugh: You put your lips on me, I’ll shoot you.

SIX
Bear: Now, were gonna fix this, cause that’s what we do.

The Late Late Show with James Corden
Chris Hardwick: I think cats are like Taylor Swift. They feed on your loneliness to survive.

The Good Place
Shawn: Oh, he’s from Florida? Yeah, he belongs in the Bad Place.

Eleanor: Holy mother forking shirt-balls!