These are my favorite quotes from the past two weeks, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

The Last Ship
Tom: That’s just my opinion. I’m new here.

Preacher
Jesse: There ain’t no such thing as never. Any man can change himself.

Cassidy: Look, I’m telling you. I’ve seen it. I seen it with my own two eyes.
Jesse: Cass, with the amount of crap you put in your body, I’m sure you’ve seen all kinds of things.
Cassidy: Well, I will have you know, that I was damn near completely sober at the time. Right? Listen to this. I was lying by the campfire there. I hear a bit of a noise. So I went down to the river to investigate. And there it was just… You know…
Tulip: Licking an ice cream cone, huh?
Cassidy: Licking an ice cream? How’d you get that from what I just did?
Tulip: Cause that’s what it looked like, like you were eating a… ice cream cone.
Cassidy: Where the bloody hell is it gonna get an ice cream cone?!
Tulip: The ice cream truck.
Cassidy: You’re just tryin’ to ruin my story, and I don’t like it. It was drinking river water.
Jesse: The unicorn.
Cassidy: Honestly, stood under the stars. It was just a beautiful scene, regal, majestic creature.
Jesse: He was thirsty.
Cassidy: Well, yes, clip-cloppin’ around with an enormous horn on its head, you know, I can only imagine the dehydration with that.
Tulip: And eating all that ice cream could not have helped.
Cassidy: There wasn’t any ice cream!
Jesse: That’s right. Ice cream makes you thirsty.
Tulip: Known fact.
Cassidy: Now stop it! We’re out in the middle of the forest. Where in the heck is it gonna find an ice cream truck?
Tulip: Just sayin’.
Cassidy: Stop it.

Midnight, Texas
Joe: She didn’t get in your head?
Manfred: She did, but my grandma was already in there.

Will
Will: Better to die on our feet than live on our knees. That’s what we all believe in.

The Bold Type
Jane: Life can change in a flash. So, what are we waiting for?

Jane: To having adventures.
Kat: And making mistakes.
Sutton: To sleeping with the wrong people…and the right people.
Jane: And to unleashing holy hell.

Younger
Redmond: Oh. Peloton on 23rd. I neva forget a butt.

Outlander
Rupert: The Lord’ll judge us both, and I trust in his mercy.

The Last Ship
Tom: I lost my way, Russ
Master Chief: You never lost your way. You may have turned your back on your calling, but your path was always right in front of you. It led you back to the Nathan James. This is where you belong.

Preacher
Clerk: No offense, ma’am
Tulip: Well, that’s for me to decide. Isn’t it?

The West Wing
Agent Donovan: Are you going to your gym tonight?
C.J.: What?!
Agent Donovan: Are you working out?
C.J.: I thought you said, “Do you wanna have gin tonight?”
Agent Donovan: No.
C.J.: I can’t go to my gym. My gym’s flooded.
Agent Donovan: How about the White House gym?
C.J.: It closes at seven.
Agent Donovan: You could use ours. It’s just a couple blocks.
C.J.: Is it a good gym?
Agent Donovan: Yes, it’s a… We run alongside moving cars.
C.J.: You don’t have to get snobby about it.

Younger
Liza: I can’t give you the life that you want.
Josh: The life that I want is any life with you.