Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Quotes of the Week: January 22-28

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Victoria
Queen Victoria: I would like my reign to be a merciful one.

The Royals
Eleanor: We have to trust somebody sometime, right?

Supergirl
Winn: I’m not the red shirt! I’m not the red shirt! You! You’re the red shirt!

Timeless
Wyatt: Why is everyone looking at us like they want to kill us?
Bass Reeves: Because the two of us are black, and one’s Indian.
Rufus: Huh. So, it’s like the scary version of Blazing Saddles.

Bass Reeves: Who the hell ever said “easy” and “right” were the same thing?

The West Wing
President Bartlet: The only thing you ever had to do to make me happy is come home at the end of the day.

The Flash
Barry: See, I’m livin’ with somebody now, so I can’t have criminals constantly interrupting our alone time.

H.R.: I think that a man often meets his destiny on the very road he takes to avoid it.

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Quotes of the Week: October 30-November 5

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Elementary
Joan: Sherlock never said that you two knew each other.
Julius: Yes. I’m not surprised. My very existence seems to embarrass him. You know, if it weren’t for me, our friend Sherlock would still think that the Sun revolves around the Earth.
Sherlock: I was eight when I made that mistake. You chose to wear that vest this morning.
Julius: It was a gift from a fan. How could I resist?
Sherlock: With self-respect.

Sherlock: When you and I first started, I quickly recognized your merits, both as a detective in your own right and in that you facilitated my own process. I’m better at the work I do because of you. But over the years, the relative importance of those two values has flipped. I now value the work that we do, first and foremost, because I do it with you. So if at times I seem overprotective of the system that we’ve built, if I worry that the resentments of others might disrupt it, I have good reason.
Joan: Those chips you showed me last night, you don’t accept them for yourself. You accept them because you’re part of a group. You accept them because the work you did to stand up at a meeting inspires others. It’s bigger than you. Or us. So you show up.

Supergirl
Kara: Maybe don’t let Winn teach you too much about women on this planet.

Kara: I’m sure you’ve figured it out by now, but it’s not a good idea to bet against me.

Jane the Virgin
Rogelio: A superhero for every weekday. You guys are programming masterminds!

Timeless
Davy Crockett: Sometimes, folks need a leader who can wrestle a bear.

The Flash
Cisco: Sometimes a man just wants to butter his own bread.

No Tomorrow
Dierdre: What’s on your social calendar this evening?
Hank: Practicing holding my breath in case of a chemical attack.

Evie: I’m truly sorry for everything.
Fern: You keep saying that but, the truth is, you never made it up to me. Being sorry doesn’t change a thing.

Xavier: I don’t want every possible option. I want you.

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Quotes of the Week: October 16-22

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Shameless
Lip: Slut.
Fiona: I know you are, but what am I?

Masters of Sex
Bill: They don’t see what you and Helen have done. That you’ve made a family.

Supergirl
Clark: If the bullets don’t work, why the punching? I never understood that.

Winn: I get to make Superman’s new suit?
Clark: No pressure.

Winn: Family is not about score-keeping, or who did more, it’s just about showing up.

Jane the Virgin
Jane: Why won’t you give up?
Michael: Because I’m a fighter. You should know that about me. I’m a fighter.

Timeless
Lucy: We saved Judith Campbell. Kept history the same.
Agent Christopher: But Garcia Flynn is still alive, and he got away with an atomic bomb!
Wyatt: The situation was chaotic.
Rufus: On the up side, we’re finally starting to gel as a team.

The West Wing
President Bartlet: Keep talking. I’m just going to sit here and think about plutonium, and the things I can do with it.

The Flash
Barry: He’s just blaming you for all the bad things he’s caused in his life.

No Tomorrow
Dierdre: I trust the cup holder is of sufficient diameter for a man of your thirsts.

Xavier: I like that you really thought about your word choice and then went with ‘rigamarole.’

Kareema: Everyone’s trying to make sense of an illogical world. That’s just his way. It’s not the only way.

Kareema: Maybe he’s crazy. Maybe what I’m doing is crazy too but, maybe sometimes crazy’s worth it.

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Quotes of the Week: October 9-15

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Supergirl
Alex: Your cousin smells terrific.

Clark: Being Kara is just as important as being Supergirl.

Clark: Up, up?
Kara: And away!

Lucifer
Lucifer: Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire.
Chloe: Lucifer.
Lucifer: I mean, I’ve heard of hot pants, but this really brings new meaning to the term “fire crotch,” doesn’t it?
Chloe: Lucifer!
Lucifer: Wait. I have more. Smokey Bobinson. Weekend at Burnie’s.
Ella: His burning bush?
Lucifer: Oh. Very good. That was actually me, by the way, so don’t tell anyone.

Lucifer: I punish because I’m good at it. I love giving people their due. Makes me happy.

Conviction
Hayes: If you don’t want me to sleep with waiters from Mom’s campaign events, don’t hire hot ones.

Hayes: Next time you want to check up on me, find a different spy, because I’m never sleeping with someone already in bed with my mother.

Timeless
Wyatt: An actor.
Lucy: Pretty well-known too. But his brother, Edwin, was literally the most famous actor in America. John never quite measured up.
Rufus: So, this is like if Donnie Wahlberg assassinated the president.
Lucy: Pretty much, actually.

The Flash
Barry: I’ve kissed Iris West twice, and I have managed to erase both times from existence!
Felicity: Yeah, I hate it when that happens.

Felicity: Everybody likes Barry Allen. You’re like pudding. Everybody likes pudding.

Jay: Are you just gonna take a do-over every time you make a mistake? Or will you live with them, and move forward?

Iris: Where ever you go, you’ll always be Barry, and I’ll always be Iris. We always find each other.

New Girl
Jess: You can’t be mad at these people.
Schmidt: But they were all horrible to me, Jess.
Jess: And that’s why you left. You created your own path. You changed cities. You made friends. You found your purpose. You met the love of your life!
Schmidt: I sure did.

The Real O’Neals
Jodi: I’ll make you a deal. I’ll do the modeling gig if you go out with VP Murray on a real date.
Eileen: And why would I do that?
Jodi: Because it’s National Coming Out Day. And if I can come out as someone who’s plus-size, you can come out as someone who’s got a crush on a thin man in Lycra.
Eileen: Of all the fabrics in all the world, he had to wear that one.

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Quotes of the Week: September 25-October 1

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

New Girl
Jess: Let’s get ready to Rodham!

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Director Mace: There’s so much S.H.I.E.L.D. history that Agent Carter herself didn’t know it all.

Mack: Why? Why are you doing this?
Fitz: Because she’s turned her back on us, Mack! Because something terrible happened, and she didn’t want our help getting through it!
Mack: Slow down, Turbo.
Fitz: Well, we’ve all been through terrible things, all of us, and we’ve never turned our back!
Daisy: I…I’m doing what I need to do.
Mack: And it still affects us. Like it or not.

This Is Us
Kevin: What did I ever do those first two minutes without you?
Kate: Uh, you cried and you crapped a lot.
Kevin: Sounds about right.

Toby: I heard that Deadpool was her idea… or maybe it was Hamilton, I get those two confused.

Rebecca: Hey, how do you think we’re doing so far? At parenting?
Jack: I…
Rebecca: ‘Cause I think we’re at a six. On a sliding scale, one through ten, I think we’re at a six, and I think I’m being generous.
Jack: Bec…
Rebecca: Seven, fine, but only because there are three of them.
Jack: Baby, I…
Rebecca: And the thing is, I’m trying really hard to get us to a nine. Because they are cute kids, and they deserve nine-parents. And the thing is, I feel like I’m there, Jack. I feel like I’m operating at a nine. Because I do individualized lunches, and I do individualized tuck-ins for each kid so nobody feels gypped. And… when you’re home, and you’re you, you’re way better than I am. You’re a ten when you’re you, Jack. But you’re getting home later and later, and when you do come home, you’re…
Jack: Bec, what are you saying?
Rebecca: The drinking has to stop. You have to reign it in, baby, because I won’t have it in my house.
Jack: You won’t have it in your house.
Rebecca: I won’t! So, if it’s a problem, fix it. Be a man, and fix it. Because I’m done letting you lower our score.

The West Wing
Ron: It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t Gina’s fault. It wasn’t Charlie’s fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault, Toby. It was an act of madmen. You think a tent was going to stop them? We got the President in the car. We got Zoe in the car. And at 150 yards and five stories up, the shooters were down 9.2 seconds after the first shot was fired. I would never let you not let me protect the President. You tell us you don’t like something, we figure out something else. It was an act of madmen.

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Quotes of the Week: May 15-21

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Game of Thrones
Grey Worm: You will not use them. They will use you. That is what they do.

Daenerys: You are small men. None of you are fit to lead the Dothraki. But I am. So I will.

Veep
President Meyer: You’re gonna cancel this recount like Anne Frank’s bat mitzvah!

Jane the Virgin
Rogelio: Why do you have a sex basket from my mortal enemy?
Xiomara: That’s not a sex basket.
Rogelio: I know a sex basket when I see one!!

Rogelio: Jane, please stop running! Your makeup will melt! Let me carry you!
Jane: No way. Then you’re makeup will melt!
Rogelio: You’re right! We’ll reapply when we get there!

12 Monkeys
Dr. Jones: This is what happens when you play God and you don’t know your lines.

Cassie: You are a pain in the ass in *every* time period.

Jennifer: Maybe every version of me thinks you’re kind of a bitch.

The Flash
Joe: The is where I play stupid and you explain science.

Barry: We’re supposed to think we’re something we’re not until we become that thing.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Coulson: You think vengeance is the missing piece of the puzzle, that it will make you whole again but all it does is break you further.

Lincoln: Saving the girl I love and the world at the same time? Feels pretty right to me.

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Quotes of the Week: May 8-14

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

The Good Wife
Alicia: You think you can play the emotional card with me? You think I’m gonna break down and cry? Look at me. Do I look like I’m breaking down?

Lucca: Who do you want to come home to every night? Who do you want to see when you open your door?

Alicia: I’ll love you forever.
Will: I’m okay with that.

Game of Thrones
Tormund: They think you’re some kind of god. The man who returned from the dead.
Jon: I’m not a god.
Tormund: I know that. I saw your pecker. What kind of god would have a pecker that small?

Lady Olenna: Margaery is the queen. You are *not* the queen because you are not married to the king. I do appreciate that things can get a bit confusing in your family.

Jaqen: If a girl is truly no one, she has nothing to fear.

Veep
President Meyer: Can I *really* blame another country for something they didn’t do?
Ben: It’s been the cornerstone of American foreign policy since the Spanish-American War.

Elementary
Morland: Being loved by you is a dangerous thing, Sherlock. Probably why I’m still alive. Men like us, we’re not meant to make such connections.

Jane the Virgin
Xiomara: Where are you going?
Jane: To make sure Petra doesn’t corrupt Rafael’s soul.

12 Monkeys
Cole: We need to bury the past. It’s the only way to save the future.

Blindspot
Weller: These *look* like they belong in a museum.
Patterson: Thank you! I collect a lot of cool stuff.

Castle
Alexis: We’re going to open it now, right?
Castle: Well, duh. When an axe-wielding psychopath is killed by a demon trying to get inside, clearly, whatever’s in there is worth seeing.

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Quotes of the Week: May 1-7

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Game of Thrones
Three-Eyed Raven: It is beautiful beneath the sea, but if you stay too long you drown.

Grantchester
Mrs. Maguire: I thought the better days would arrive. That’s what no one tells you. That how it starts is most likely how it ends.

Daniel: I can’t wait forever.
Leonard: That’s what you do, isn’t it? When you love someone. I know I waited long enough to meet you.

The Good Wife
Diane: Oh my god. I’m so sorry, David. The women outnumber the men. That must be so hard for you.

Elementary
Vikner: My predecessor was a painter.
Joan: So was Hitler.

Jane the Virgin
Michael: This feel a little weird to you?
Rafael: Wait until Father’s Day.

Esteban: Draw thy sword!
Rogelio: That’s what she said.

Petra: When it comes to financial crimes and blackmail, come to me!

Castle
Castle: I don’t think date night counts when it’s a candlelit dinner with the butcher of Guadalajara.

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Quotes of the Week: April 25-April 30

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Jane the Virgin
Rafael: Hey, uh, you wanna maybe change a diaper?
Petra: No, thanks. I changed one a few days ago.

Rogelio: We want to capture Eleanor’s inner beauty, but on the outside.

Jane: Marry the salt shakers.
Anezka: …Do you, salt, take you, salt?

Lucifer
Lucifer: Why don’t we just skip that part and go straight to the main course?
Chloe: Because it’s incredibly impulsive and shortsighted.
Lucifer: Have you noticed that’s my jam?

Blindspot
Jane: When I see you here, at the end of the day, I feel safe.

New Girl
J. Cronkite: I must say, this is not my favorite sort of white people in here.
Nick: Me neither. My favorite kind of white people are redheads with high socks. Male or female.

Cece: The very fact that socks exist is proof that shoes don’t work.

The Flash
Jesse: Bio Chem was one of my majors in college.
Barry: *One* of your majors? How many did you have?
Jesse: Five. What? Is that not common here?

Joe: I can’t watch you be a human punching bag until he turns into Grandpa Simpson.

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Quotes of the Week: April 18-24

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Supergirl
Kara: People of National City, this is Supergirl and… I hope you can hear me. We have been attacked. Mothers and fathers, friends and neighbors, children, everyone. Suddenly stopped by a force of evil as great as this world has ever known. Your attacker has thought to take your free will, your individuality, your spirit, everything that makes you who you are. When facing an attack like this, it’s easy to feel hopeless. We retreat. We lose our strength, lose ourselves. I know. I lost everything when I was young. When I first landed on this planet, I was sad and alone but, I found out that there is so much love in this world out there for the taking. And you, the people of National City, you helped me. You let me be who I’m meant to be. You gave me back to myself. You made me stronger than I ever thought possible, and I love you for that. Now, in each and every one of you, there is a light, a spirit, that can not be snuffed out. It won’t give up. I need your help again. I need you to hope. Hope that you will remember that you can all be heroes. Hope that when faced with an enemy determined to destroy your spirit you will fight back and thrive. Hope that those who once may have shunned you will, in a moment of crisis, come to your aid. Hope that you will see again the faces of those you love, and perhaps even those you’ve lost.

Alex: You’re not the only bad ass in the family.

Kara: To family. Love bonds us all.

Jane the Virgin
Alba: God doesn’t need to see your boobies as you enter the Holy Sacrament of Marriage.

Jane: You’re getting your own color in my calendar!
Michael: Yeah, that’s not as sexy to me as it is to you.

Lucifer
Zoe: What’s this? It’s a chicken. Or what’s left of it.
Lucifer: If that’s supposed to be an offering for me, then I decline on grounds of salmonella.

Lucifer: Felii hircus. It’s Latin. It means “children of the goat.” Why do they always associate me with goats? I mean, I don’t even like their cheese.

Blindspot
Boston: I’ve seen worse. I’ll need a week.
Jane: You’ve got ten hours.
Boston: That is *much* less time!

The Flash
Cisco: The best plan we can come up with so far is to set off a nuclear warhead next to the city’s electrical grid, so…
Barry: We’re not gonna do that.

Zoom: You can’t lock up the darkness!

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