Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Quotes of the Week: May 1-7

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Game of Thrones
Three-Eyed Raven: It is beautiful beneath the sea, but if you stay too long you drown.

Grantchester
Mrs. Maguire: I thought the better days would arrive. That’s what no one tells you. That how it starts is most likely how it ends.

Daniel: I can’t wait forever.
Leonard: That’s what you do, isn’t it? When you love someone. I know I waited long enough to meet you.

The Good Wife
Diane: Oh my god. I’m so sorry, David. The women outnumber the men. That must be so hard for you.

Elementary
Vikner: My predecessor was a painter.
Joan: So was Hitler.

Jane the Virgin
Michael: This feel a little weird to you?
Rafael: Wait until Father’s Day.

Esteban: Draw thy sword!
Rogelio: That’s what she said.

Petra: When it comes to financial crimes and blackmail, come to me!

Castle
Castle: I don’t think date night counts when it’s a candlelit dinner with the butcher of Guadalajara.

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Quotes of the Week: April 25-April 30

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Jane the Virgin
Rafael: Hey, uh, you wanna maybe change a diaper?
Petra: No, thanks. I changed one a few days ago.

Rogelio: We want to capture Eleanor’s inner beauty, but on the outside.

Jane: Marry the salt shakers.
Anezka: …Do you, salt, take you, salt?

Lucifer
Lucifer: Why don’t we just skip that part and go straight to the main course?
Chloe: Because it’s incredibly impulsive and shortsighted.
Lucifer: Have you noticed that’s my jam?

Blindspot
Jane: When I see you here, at the end of the day, I feel safe.

New Girl
J. Cronkite: I must say, this is not my favorite sort of white people in here.
Nick: Me neither. My favorite kind of white people are redheads with high socks. Male or female.

Cece: The very fact that socks exist is proof that shoes don’t work.

The Flash
Jesse: Bio Chem was one of my majors in college.
Barry: *One* of your majors? How many did you have?
Jesse: Five. What? Is that not common here?

Joe: I can’t watch you be a human punching bag until he turns into Grandpa Simpson.

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Quotes of the Week: April 18-24

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Supergirl
Kara: People of National City, this is Supergirl and… I hope you can hear me. We have been attacked. Mothers and fathers, friends and neighbors, children, everyone. Suddenly stopped by a force of evil as great as this world has ever known. Your attacker has thought to take your free will, your individuality, your spirit, everything that makes you who you are. When facing an attack like this, it’s easy to feel hopeless. We retreat. We lose our strength, lose ourselves. I know. I lost everything when I was young. When I first landed on this planet, I was sad and alone but, I found out that there is so much love in this world out there for the taking. And you, the people of National City, you helped me. You let me be who I’m meant to be. You gave me back to myself. You made me stronger than I ever thought possible, and I love you for that. Now, in each and every one of you, there is a light, a spirit, that can not be snuffed out. It won’t give up. I need your help again. I need you to hope. Hope that you will remember that you can all be heroes. Hope that when faced with an enemy determined to destroy your spirit you will fight back and thrive. Hope that those who once may have shunned you will, in a moment of crisis, come to your aid. Hope that you will see again the faces of those you love, and perhaps even those you’ve lost.

Alex: You’re not the only bad ass in the family.

Kara: To family. Love bonds us all.

Jane the Virgin
Alba: God doesn’t need to see your boobies as you enter the Holy Sacrament of Marriage.

Jane: You’re getting your own color in my calendar!
Michael: Yeah, that’s not as sexy to me as it is to you.

Lucifer
Zoe: What’s this? It’s a chicken. Or what’s left of it.
Lucifer: If that’s supposed to be an offering for me, then I decline on grounds of salmonella.

Lucifer: Felii hircus. It’s Latin. It means “children of the goat.” Why do they always associate me with goats? I mean, I don’t even like their cheese.

Blindspot
Boston: I’ve seen worse. I’ll need a week.
Jane: You’ve got ten hours.
Boston: That is *much* less time!

The Flash
Cisco: The best plan we can come up with so far is to set off a nuclear warhead next to the city’s electrical grid, so…
Barry: We’re not gonna do that.

Zoom: You can’t lock up the darkness!

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Quotes of the Week: April 11-17

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Supergirl
Cat: Call Harrison Ford and tell him that I’m flattered but, once and for all, I do not date older men. Especially when they’re married.

Non: The human race finally has a chance to live, or it would suffer the same fate as Krypton. And the same thing is happening on Earth, with a populace more interested in reality stars and political circuses than working together to solve the world’s problems.
Max: So, mind control is the answer to global warming. Why didn’t I think of that?

Cat: Hope is stronger than fear.

Blindspot
Zapata: Aldebaran is the brightest star in Taurus, as in, the Taurus bull…What? I like stars and I was very unpopular in high school.

David: I’m gonna go.
Paterson: I don’t want you to.
David: I know. But, I’m already gone.

Castle
Prince Hasheim: If one wished to keep priceless history safe from looters and terrorists, there is no better place for them to wait out the conflict than in the basement of the Smithsonian.

Castle: I think I’m all done with genies.
Beckett: What? Why the change of heart?
Castle: Well, because of you, of course.
Beckett: Oh, really? So, after eight years, some of my common sense has finally rubbed off on you?
Castle: No. No, no, no, nothing like that. Uhm, I have no need for genies simply because I already have everything I could ever wish for.
Beckett: Right back atcha, handsome. Oh, wait, uhm, so you wouldn’t even wish for a working light saber?
Castle: Nope.
Beckett: Okay. Transporter, like the ones in Star Trek? You would never have to fly again.
Castle: I like flying.
Beckett: Huh. Time machine?
Castle: Only to go back and fall in love with you all over again.
Beckett: Wow, that was a good answer.
Castle: I know, right?

iZombie
Liv: Major is a zombie.
Clive: Metaphorically?

Liv: A massive zombie outbreak means never having to say you’re sorry.

Vivian: Vivian Stoll, Fillmore-Graves Enterprises.
Clive: Clive Babineaux, Seattle PD. This is Liv Moore from the Medical Examiner’s office.
Vivian: You’re gonna be a busy girl.
Major: Major Lilywhite. Personal Trainer.

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Quotes of the Week: April 3-10

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Shameless
Rita: Do I need to call the police?
Ian: Sure. That’s what most people do when they see someone with a mental illness.
Rita: No. You got let go because you lied on your employment application
Ian: Bullshit. What do you think I should have done? Would you have hired me if I had checked that box that said I had a mental illness? What kind of choice is that? Tell the truth, you don’t get the job. Lie, maybe they’ll never find out. What would you do? You’d lie. So would you. So would you. You think because I’m bipolar, an illness that I am managing, by the way, that I can’t do this job where half the people you deal with are mentally ill? Are living on the streets because they can’t get help, or are too sick to know they even need help? You wouldn’t refuse to hire me if I was in a wheelchair, if I had a physical handicap, or HIV. No, because it is illegal to discriminate against someone who is handicapped, and I… I am handicapped. It’s not my fault. I didn’t do anything to bring this on myself. I have a disease. If I show up one day and I’m acting all freaky, then you, or you, or you, Rita, you tell me to go home, and I will go, but don’t tell me I can’t do this job.

Grantchester
Sidney: Maybe my type doesn’t exist.
Geordie: Or is already married?

Quantico
Alex: There’s no such thing as the truth. There’s what you think, what the other person thinks, and then what the world remembers.

The Real O’Neals
Eileen: Look away!
Kenny: What are you doing?
Eileen: I’m eating gay cake on the toilet.

Jimmy: Is this what we’re doing? We’re letting God take out Grandma?

iZombie
Vaughn: That’s Rob Thomas. I mean, there’s something so compelling about the stuff he writes.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Coulson: Gotta admit, this time stuff’s always been a little over my head. Like in Terminator, if John Connor’s alive and able to send his friend back in time to save his mom to make sure he’s born, doesn’t that mean he doesn’t have to?
Lincoln: I, uh, never saw the original Terminator
Coulson: You’re off the team.

Daisy: Wait, what are you gonna do?
Coulson: Find Grant Ward. Yeah. Day got weirder.

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Quotes of the Week: March 27-April 2

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

The Good Wife
Jason: You’re in my way.
Peter: You’re screwing my wife and *I’m* in your way?
Jason: At the moment, yes.
Peter: I should kick your ass.
Jason: You could try.

Supergirl
Cat: Kira, call security. I haven’t seen eyes that crazy since I had fondue with Ramona Singer.

Barry: How did you do that?
Kara: I’m Supergirl.
Barry: You’re *who* now?

Cat: All four of you standing there, doing nothing. You look like the attractive, yet non-threatening, racially diverse cast of a CW show.

Kara: You mean, like, a race?
Barry: Yeah, I guess. Think you can keep up, Girl of Steel?
Kara: Oh, just you watch, Scarlet Speedster.

Jane the Virgin
Narrator: As much as Jane hated to admit it, she knew the snarky wallpaper had a point.

Xiomara: Do you have a minute to chat…alone?
Rogelio: I keep *no* secrets from Charo.

Blindspot
Jane: This dog can really smell bombs?
Reade: Well, if it can’t, then it’s one terrible bomb-sniffing dog.

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Quotes of the Week: March 20-26

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Daredevil
Frank: People that can hurt you, the ones that can really hurt you, are the ones that are close enough to do it. People that get inside you and… and… and tear you apart, and make you feel like you’re never gonna recover. Shit. I’d-I-I would chop my arm off right here, in this restaurant, just to feel that one more time for my wife. My old lady, she didn’t just break my heart. She… she’d rip it out, she’d tear it apart, she’d step on that shit, feed it to a dog. I mean, she was ruthless. She brought the pain. But she’ll never hurt me again. You see, I’ll never feel that. You sit here and you’re all confused about this thing, but you have it. You have everything. So, hold on to it. Use two hands and never let go. You got it?

Supergirl
Cat: If Mel Gibson can present at the Golden Globes, then Supergirl can win the city back.

Lucy: It all makes sense now.

Siobhan: Seriously? I have too much self-esteem to kill myself.

Jane the Virgin
Pablo: Electricity is a funny thing. No one really understands it.

Lucifer
Lucifer: Frank Lawrence. The most evil of people have the most normal names, I’ve experienced. Beware anyone named Keith.

Father Lawrence: We might not always understand it, but God has a plan.
Lucifer: Yes, I know. But, why does everybody always think it’s a *good* plan?

Lost Girl
Bo: It’s the end of an era.

Kensi: Who needs weapons when you’ve got…mascara and heels?

Bo: I promise you will not grow up a lost girl.

The Flash
Dr. Wells: You lose a chunk of your humanity every time you compromise your values.

Cisco: Why do the crazy ones always name themselves?

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Quotes of the Week: March 13-19

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Once Upon a Time
Regina: You defeated me in a way no one thought was possible. You made me your friend, by never giving up on me.

Shameless
Mandy: Don’t worry about him. He’s dead.

Mandy: Just ’cause we were born here, doesn’t mean that we end up here.

Supergirl
Kara: Don’t be jealous. Or do. I don’t really care.

Kara: I would be jealous of anyone you loved.

Cat: I don’t believe in failure. Not if you get back up and face the music.

Lucifer
Lucifer: Speak of the me.

Bitten
Sasha: Torn between my Alpha and my love. My duty and my dream.

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Quotes of the Week: March 6-12

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

House of Cards
Francis: To mourn is not to fear. To grieve is not to admit defeat.

Francis: That’s right. We don’t submit to terror. We make the terror.

Once Upon a Time
Henry: So, who’s ready for Operation Firebird?

Downton Abbey
Spratt: I’m full of ideas when it comes to combining comfort and elegance, m’lady.

Violet: Don’t be mysterious. It’s the last resort of people with no secrets.

Bertie: Would you believe me if I said I couldn’t live without you?
Edith: You’ve done a pretty good job of living without me lately.
Bertie: I’ve done a very bad job.

Mrs. Patmore: You know your problem?
Daisy: I bet I soon will.

Lord Merton: As my son, I love you, but I’ve tried and failed to like you!

Jane the Virgin
Paola: I miss my mother everyday. Sometimes, I wish I hadn’t killed her.

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Quotes of the Week: December 6-20

These are my favorite quotes from the past two weeks, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

The Leftovers
Man at Bar: You pushed a little a girl into a well. You don’t want to sing?

John: I killed you.
Kevin: Nope.

Quantico
Ryan: A soldier isn’t a criminal just because you don’t believe in their war.

Supergirl
James: No hero can save everyone. Not even Superman. But a real hero never stops trying.

Fargo
Ed: Are you seein’ this?
Peggy: It’s just a flyin’ saucer, Ed. We gotta go.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Coulson: I’ll be damned. Tatooine.

You’re the Worst
Gretchen: After I cleaned the fries off your face and put you to bed, you said something to me that was pretty dark.
Jimmy: Don’t tell me.
Gretchen: Okay. I won’t… I love you too.

The Vampire Diaries
Stefan: You are my back-up. You’re just terrible at it!

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