Community

Quotes of the Week: May 31-June 13

Since it is now summer and there is less to watch, I have decided to do this every other week. So, these are my favorite quotes from the past two weeks, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Game of Thrones
Tyrion: A ruler who kills those devoted to her is not a ruler who inspires devotion.

Community
Abed: It has to be joyful, effortless, fun. TV defeats it’s own purpose when it’s pushing an agenda or trying to defeat other TV or being proud or ashamed of itself for existing. It’s TV. It’s comfort. It’s a friend you’ve known so well, and for so long, you just let it be with you. And it needs to be okay for it have a bad day or a phone-in day. And it needs to be okay for it to get on a boat with Levar Burton and never come back. Because eventually, it all will.

Annie: I think you should kiss me goodbye, or you might regret it for the rest of your life.

Younger
Liza: You’re getting your own coffee?
Diana: I like to keep my life skills sharp, in case there’s another Sandy.

iZombie
Liv: I feel really bad for her. I kind of have a contact sad.

Bones
Booth: You can’t eat pie fast or you cramp. That is a science.

Orphan Black
Crystal: You can’t crush the human spirit.

Delphine: You know, my security concerns, they’re not jealousy. I’m French. We enjoy lovers.

Crystal: What happened to your voice?
Felix: Nothing. This is my truth voice.

Felix: What kind of monster threatens a man’s cat?

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Quotes of the Week: May 24-31

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Game of Thrones
Cersei: Look at me! Look at my face. It’s the last thing you’ll see before you die.

Community
Elroy: This is a man that knows how to marry his cousin!

Bones
Brennan: I realize how quickly relationships can change and how important it is to value those you have right now.

Lost Girl
Oracles: Only in the darkness can we see the light.

Outlander
Jamie: You cannot save a man that doesn’t want saving.

Orphan Black
Felix: You need bangs. Bangs that say, ‘unhappy, sexless marriage.’

Alison: Holy frickin’ Christmas cake.

Alison: Family. That’s my agenda. Sometimes, family is more than just the people under your roof. They’re people who jump in head-first, who aren’t afraid to make fools of themselves to help you, who don’t hide their faces in shame if you fall down. If your family is suddenly bigger than you expected and your house gets too crowded, do you tell your family that they need to find a different place to live? You make room. You adapt. You find creative solutions to keep people together.

Quotes of the Week: April 12-18

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Once Upon a Time
Mr. Gold: Maybe you should take a piece of advice from a man who has pushed away every chance at happiness because it was never enough. If it’s within your grasp, if you know where it is and who it’s with, then you should run to it, grasp it and never let it go.

Game of Thrones
Daenerys: Angry snakes lash out. Makes chopping off their heads that much easier.

Varys: You could help another climb those steps and take that seat. The Seven Kingdoms need someone stronger than Tommen, but gentler than Stanis. A monarch who can intimidate the high lords and inspire the people. A ruler loved by millions with a powerful army and the right family name.
Tyrion: Good luck finding him.
Varys: Who said anything about ‘him.’

Outlander
Jamie: You’re not normally a close-mouthed woman, Claire. I expected noisier displeasure… but, quiet anger can be very effective.

The Originals
Davina: It must *really* suck to have to be you all the time.
Klaus: It hasn’t been a picnic, honestly.

Jane the Virgin
Rogelio: Who cares if your eggs are too old. We’ll buy new ones.

The Flash
Caitlin: Is that a bird?
Cisco: It’s a plane.
Felicity: It’s my boyfriend.

Felicity: It’s kinda like I’m dating Barry, but in Oliver’s body.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
May: You’re worried that I don’t understand your choice. Well, sometimes that’s the price of doing the right thing. No one will understand, and it hurts like hell.
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Quotes of the Week: March 22-28

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

The Musketeers
Vargas: You bring women to fight your battles?
Constance: Perhaps I bring men to fight mine.

Once Upon a Time
Poseidon: As long as you live in my ocean, you will live by my rules.

Hook: Maybe she was right. Maybe villains can’t get their happy endings.
Ariel: Maybe that’s because villains always go about getting them the wrong way.

Mary-Margaret: First thing you learn as a bandit: the back door’s usually unlocked.

Shameless
Frank: You’re my favorite dying person I’ve ever met.

Veronica: Why would anyone want to be with you?
Frank: Well, why wouldn’t they?
Kermit: Chlamydia and herpes for starters. Poor hygiene, alcoholism, lack of a moral compass…
Frank: Fine. But my good qualities vastly out weigh my bad ones.
Veronica: Name one.
Frank: How about, uh, a lust for adventure, a bottomless libido.
Kermit: Geez.
Frank: I show up with drugs, companionship, pro bono sex. What more could a dying woman want?

Looking
Kevin: You’re going on about honesty, maybe *you* should look in the mirror.
Patrick: I just did and I look fine. My hair is looking a little middle-aged-lesbian but, whatever.

Glee
Sue: You know, a great big fat person once stood on this stage and told a group of a dozen or so nerds in hideous disco outfits that “glee,” by its very definition, is about opening yourself up to joy. Now, it’s no secret that for a long time, I thought that was a load of hooey. As far as I can see, the Glee Club is nothing more than a place where a bunch of cowardly losers go to sing their troubles away, and delude themselves that they live in a world that cares one iota about their hopes and dreams, totally divorced from the harsh reality that out in the real world, there’s not much more to hope for than disappointment, heartbreak and failure. You know what? I was exactly right. That’s exactly what Glee Club is. But I was wrong about the cowardly part. What I finally realize, now that I’m well into my late thirties, it takes a lot of bravery to look around you and see the world, not as it is, but as it should be. A world where the quarterback becomes best friends with the gay kid, and the girl with the big nose ends up on Broadway. Glee is about imagining a world like that, and finding the courage to open up your heart and sing about it. That’s what Glee Club is. And, for the longest time, I thought that was silly. And now, I think it’s just about the bravest thing that anyone could do.

Community
Chang: Could you guys be bigger nerds?
Abed: No, most of us have achieved our maximum potential.
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Quotes of the Week: March 15-21

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Shameless
Frank: I’m the only guy I know that’s been given last rites three times.

The Good Wife
Marissa: Handsome men are so weak.

Battle Creek
Russ: Your snitch is an NBA cheerleader?
Al: You got a problem with that?
Russ: No, I don’t got a problem with that. The problem I got is that *my* snitch is a fat, annoying, hairy moron.

The Royals
Penelope: I do not want to be American. I do not want to walk around like Justin Bieber with no shirt on and my trousers hanging off.
Eleanor: He’s Canadian.
Maribel: Even worse. They can’t make us Canadian, can they Daddy? Canadian and poor, just like Justin Bieber?

Jane the Virgin
Rogelio: I’m going to take your hand because I’m a gentleman and we’re in public.

Narrator: Sometimes the best romance is not the stuff of fantasy. It’s the romance of small moments…of intimate moments…of reality.

Castle
Kate: Whatever’s next, I don’t want to have to compromise my priorities to get there, and I never want to be guilty of leaving behind what matters most.
Castle: You cannot leave behind what is always at your side.

Community
Abed: That’s the most interesting take on not being interesting I’ve ever heard.

Dean: Guess what I just purchased for the school from a local manufacturer? Greendale’s first virtual reality operating system!
Frankie: Did Greendale *need* a virtual reality system?
Dean: Uh, like a hole in the head!
Frankie: A hole in the head is something that you *don’t* need.
Dean: She said through a huge hole in her head.

Jeff: I’ll never get out of here, will I?
Dean: I haven’t met many that do.

iZombie
Ravi: You ate the girl’s temporal lobe. Going to the police with her potential murderer is the least you can do.

Justified
Tim: Here comes the douche-mobile.

Boyd: You kiss my ass, Raylan Givens!!

Avery: Whatever that blast was, it wasn’t enough.
Raylan: One thing that didn’t occur to me: dipshits not capable of pullin’ it off.
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8 Halloween Costumes…

I have never been super creative when it comes to Halloween costumes, as a kid I tended to dress as a witch or something else where I could use clothes I already owned, so I always love other people’s crazy ideas. These are my favorite costumes worn by television characters.

1. Ross as Spudnik – Friends
I mostly love that Ross is dressed as a giant potato.

2. Jess as Zombie Woody Allen – New Girl
It is just so random. Costumes like this would never even occur to me.

3. Ted as a Hanging Chad – How I Met Your Mother
I love that he wore the same costume every single year to the same party hoping to run into the Slutty Pumpkin that he met once, even though his costume was no longer topical.

4. Bert as Iron Man – Trophy Wife
Okay, so technically, Bert was dressed in the actual Iron Man costume, but Jackie’s misunderstanding of what costume he wanted is funnier.

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8 Schools It Would Have Been Fun to Have Attended…

Everyone went back to school this week here in Austin, so I thought I would give you my list of TV schools that would have been a lot of fun to have attended in real life. I was never a big fan of studying when I was in school, so most of these choices are not academic in the least.

1. Liberty High School – My So-Called Life Executive Producer Marshall Herskovitz is from Philadelphia and I am pretty sure that this show is supposed to have taken place at Lower Merion High School, so technically I did go to Liberty. However, I do not remember Jordan Catalano being there.


2. Neptune High – Veronica Mars Sadly, I probably would have been friends with the 09ers in high school, or at least the jocks. However, I definitely would have gravitated towards the Meg Mannings, as opposed to the Madison Sinclairs. Either way, Veronica always kept things interesting.


3. Cyprus-Rhodes University – Greek I was not in a sorority in college and I definitely would not have joined Zeta Beta Zeta, but I would have had a lot of fun hanging out with the Kappa Tau’s at all of their crazy parties.


4. S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy – Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Who wouldn’t want to learn how to be a super secret agent?!


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