Since the ATX Television Festival, my schedule has been little wonky. So, here are my favorite quotes from the past two and a half weeks, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Orphan Black
Alison: Poop on a stoop!

I’m Dying Up Here
Edgar: That is not how a bladder functions.
Gabe: Shut up, Edgar. I’m Jewish, you’re Mexican, which automatically makes me closer to being a doctor than you.

Downward Dog
Martin: I think, so often I forget the really, really obvious things in life. Because I don’t think it’s all that hard to be happy. I…I think you just have to be grateful. Like, you have to remember to be grateful for what’s right in front of you. Because me and Nan are really, really different. Like…like, we’re, like, 60% compatible at best. And, like, we have these huge issues we have to work out. But, like, when you’re always running around looking for what’s wrong with everything you just – you just end up miserable. Yeah, like, I’m a trash dog and she’s, like, a fancy lady, but we have each other, and that’s what’s important. We’re not alone. And for that…for that I’m honestly, really, truly grateful.

Martin: One thing I’ve always wanted to ask is just, like, what if we never got out of bed? Like, ever. Why are we so convinced it would be bad? Like, that might – that might solve everything. Or we could not try my suggestion, and we could just, like, keep getting out of bed every day expecting somehow to achieve a different result, even though that’s the actual dictionary definition of insanity. I mean, I don’t know. Maybe it’s worth a try.

iZombie
Liv: He escaped.
Justin: How’d that happen?
Liv: Said the guy who showed up late.

Fargo
Emmit: A lie is not a lie if you believe it’s true.

Doctor Who
Bill: You’re not cowards. You’re scared. Scared is fine. Scared is human.

Doctor: That’s the trouble with hope. It’s hard to resist.

Turn: Washington’s Spies
Judge Woodhull: When the consequence of the day rears its head, then we’ll know what we learned.

Orphan Black
Rachel: You can be part of this change, or you can be part of the past.

Kira: I want to know why I’m like this!

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