These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.
Once Upon a Time
Emma: So, our best defense against a magical beast follows the same rules as chicken pox?!
Belle: I’ll see if I can find anything about this thing in the library
Emma: Thanks. And, Mary Margaret…
Mary Margaret: I’ll get everyone to safety. I’m on it.
Emma: Wow, you guys really have this down.
Hook: Well, this isn’t our first monster bash.
Debbie: You should quit while you’re ahead.
Carl: He’ll out-Frank you every time.
Fiona: You have to let me go. You have to let me let you go. I need you to do that for me.
Frank: You shot me.
Sammy: Drastic times.
Frank: None of my kids have shot me.
Sammy: They don’t care about you as much as I do.
Frank: I have a bullet in my arm.
Sammy: No, you don’t. Just grazed ya. I loves you, daddy.
Sammy: I love you, daddy.
Frank: Yeah, I…I love you too, Sammy. I love you too.
The Last Man on Earth
Phil: I got news for you, Tom Hanks, I will never, ever talk to a volleyball!
Doris: There’s nobody that I’d rather invest in more than you, ’cause you’re my family.
Milt: In my experience, when you trust people, they trust you.
Russ: Have you actually met people?
April: Maybe it’s not about finding the reason that all this is happening. Maybe it’s just about trusting that there is one.
House of Cards
Frank: Imagination is its own form of courage.
Frank: You are entitled to nothing.
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Hunter: Is every Radio Shack a Hydra outpost? I always suspected.
Cookie: Yeah. That’s my name. Take a bite.
Lolly: If all goes right, he won’t be the only one sleepin’ on my floor tonight…That made more sense in my head.
Lolly: My Girl? Bleh!
Customer: We heard it was a sweet movie.
Lolly: I used to feel sad for Anna Chlumsky when Macaulay died, but she got off easy. Eventually, he would have told her she was like a sister. Then she’d wish she was the one stung to death by bees!
Customer: Did you seriously just ruin the movie for us?
Sebastian: No. Jamie Lee Curtis will ruin the movie for you.
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Matt Lauer: I’m always amazed at what women will do because they’re afraid of being rude.
Kid: Stranger danger!
Kimmy: I’m not stranger danger! I’m a stranger danger ranger!
Titus: Oh no, you can not work there. Rich New Yorkers are the worst. They buy up buildings for themselves and ruin neighborhoods. They’re always inventing new types of dogs that the world doesn’t need. And what do they do with their money? They give it to charities to cure malaria in other countries. Well, call me crazy, but I say, cure malaria at home first!
Kimmy: I was trying to have fun and then I made everything weird. Cause I’m weird. And now you’re looking at me like I’m Jesus’s crazy step-brother, Terry…That’s not in the Bible, is it?
Hart of Dixie
Zoe: All’s fair in love and pastries!!
Aramis: All for one?
Porthos: Yeah, I know.