Justified

Quotes of the Week: Feb. 15-21

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also just random things I happen to be watching.

Shameless
Doctor: “Are you retarded, Frank?”
Frank: “No.”
Doctor: “Then get your shit together.”

The Originals
Jackson: “You brought me a bag of werewolf heads.”
Klaus: “I kind of thought you’d see it as an early wedding present.”

Jackson: “I pledge to honor and defend you and yours, above all others.”
Hayley: “To share in blessings and burdens. To be your advocate. Your champion.”
Jackson: “To be your comfort. Your sanctuary. And for as long as we both shall live.”
Hayley: “To be your family.”
Jackson: “To be your family.”

Gotham
Leslie: “There are plenty of things in this world that can’t be explained by rational science.”
Jim: “Yeah, people who enjoy folk dancing, for instance. Doesn’t mean ghosts exist.”

Jane the Virgin
Jane: “Hey, Rogelio.”
Rogelio: “Dad. You’re locked into Dad now.”
Jane: “Dad. Got it.”

The Flash
Iris: “Do you actually know anything about Physics?”
Mason: “Not a thing. It might as well be in Dothraki.”

Professor Stein: “I’m still inside Ronald.”
Cisco: “There has to be a better way to phrase that.”

Cisco: “You guys are like ten seasons of Ross and Rachel but, just like, smushed into one year.”

About a Boy
Fiona: “Oh, cabbage. You are not what men want.”

Fiona: “Right. Now you’re gonna get a lecture: 1. you’re a rubbish chaperone; 2. you are a *very* poor judge of character; 3. you’re far too tall, Sasquatch; 4. you’re an idiot; 5. snip, snip, snip on your eyebrows, okay? 6. your hair’s too big and it’s not the humidity!”

Agent Carter
Peggy: “Have you ever been hanged, Mr. Jarvis?”
Jarvis: “I can’t say that I have, no.”
Peggy: “It is quite unpleasant!”

Dooley: “I’m supposed to believe that you pulled off your own investigation without any of us noticing.”
Sousa: “Why would you go through all that trouble instead of coming to one of us?”
Peggy: “I conducted my own investigation because no one listens to me. I got away with it because no one looks at me. Because, unless I have your reports, your coffee or your lunch, I am invisible!”

Peggy: “I’ve just thought of something.”
Jarvis: “We’re still attached to a table.”
Peggy: ” We are *still* attached to a table.”

New Girl
Winston: “I will say one thing about that man that I’ve only said about Ryan Gosling: hot damn!”

Nick: “You know what the problem with Jordan Catalano is?”
Jess: “Yeah, an undiagnosed learning disability!”

Nick: “I touched both your mother’s breasts in a communal womb earlier today. I didn’t do it on purpose, but there it is.”

Justified
Constable Bob: “Hell yeah I got a badge. And I got balls like Death Stars. Let’s do this.”

The Goldbergs
Barry: “Erica wins! She called me the TV character I like!”

Pops: “See, the problem here is, you horribly interpreted my advice.”

The 100
Lincoln: “Just let him kill me, then take him out. Please! Your people need you.”
Clarke: “You are my people.”

Hindsight
Lolly: “You look like a scared toon about to be dipped by Christopher Lloyd.”

Suits
Harvey: “I can’t believe it, you have no idea what to say! What’s today’s date? I wanna write this down.”
Donna: “You know what? It’s the 7th of kiss my ass and tomorrow’s the 8th of set your own goddamn meetings.”
Harvey: “Is that the Mayan calendar?”
Donna: “Nope. That’s the Donna calendar.”

Harvey: “Who is *she*?”
Mike: “That’s that lawyer.”
Harvey: “Why didn’t you tell me she was hot?”
Mike: “Because it’s not relevant?”
Harvey: “It is to me.”
Mike: “Why?”
Harvey: “Because she’s hot.”

The Vampire Diaries
Damon: “Today isn’t the worst day of your life. Today and tomorrow, that’s a cake walk. There’ll be people around you day in and day out, like they’re afraid to leave you alone. The worst day? That’s next week. When there’s nothing but quiet.”

Jo: “You can’t throw a pity proposal at a pregnant, ex-witch!”

Hart of Dixie
Wade: “Life was so much simpler before you and I became friends.”

Gilmore Girls
Reverend: “You know, Rory, being a young lady comes with many gifts. Your virtue, for example, is a gift. A precious gift. Possibly the most precious gift you possess.”
Rory: “Uh-huh?”
Reverend: “You wanna give this gift very carefully. It is a gift you can only give to one man. Once you give it, it’s gone. You can’t re-gift it. If you give it away too soon, to the wrong man, then when the right one does come along, you have no gift to give. You’ll have to buy him a sweater. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Rory: “No.”
Reverend: “Think long and hard about when and to whom you want to give the ultimate gift you have to give away.”
Rory: “Oh.”
Reverend: “Yes.”
Rory: “Oh, dear.”
Reverend: “Oh, dear, indeed.”
Rory: “Uhm, well, listen, Reverend, I really appreciate you taking the time out of, what I assume is, a busy day, to come here and talk to me about all of this, but I’m afraid the ultimate gift ship has sailed.”
Reverend: “What?”
Rory: “A while ago. It’s probably in Fiji by now.”

12 Monkeys
Striking Woman: “You’re walking through a red forest and the grass is tall.”

Cole: “Everybody’s got two wolves inside ’em and both of ’em are starving. One wolf is anger, envy, pride. The other is truth, kindness. Everyday they tear each other apart, but it’s not the better wolf that wins, it’s the one you feed.”

8 Returning Mid-Season Shows…

Last week, I shared my list of new shows that I am most excited about, so here are the returning shows that I cannot wait to have back on my television in the next few months.

1. Shameless season five premieres January 11 on Showtime, stars William H. Macy, Emmy Rossum, Jeremy Allen White, Cameron Monaghan, Emma Kenney, Ethan Cutkosky, Shanola Hampton, Steve Howey, Joan Cusack, Noel Fisher and Emily Bergl. Somehow, this is still one of the most under-rated shows on TV. What are you all waiting for?! I love the Gallaghers so much. They make me laugh and they make me cry and I cannot wait to see what craziness they get up to now that it is summer in Chicago! Frank has a new liver, so anything is possible.



2. Justified the final season premieres January 20 on FX, stars Timothy Olyphant, Walton Goggins, Joelle Carter, Nick Searcy, Jacob Pitts, Erica Tazel and Jere Burns. I am very sad to be losing another one of my favorite shows, but I will say the same thing that I said about Sons of Anarchy in September: I do not want it to be over, but I also cannot wait to see what happens! Will Ava help the Marshals with their RICO case? Will Tim continue to be awesome? Will Raylan and Boyd finally take each other out? I am already on the edge of my seat filled with anticipation.



3. The Americans season three premieres January 28 on FX, stars Keri Russell, Matthew Rhys, Noah Emmerich, Annet Mahendru, Susan Misner, Alison Wright, Richard Thomas, Holly Taylor and Keidrich Sellati. This is another under-rated show that more people need to be watching. It is not a show that I necessarily need to keep up with every single week, but when I finally sit down and watch it, I am always impressed with the story-telling and the performances.



4. Suits the second half of season four premieres January 28 on USA, stars Gabriel Macht, Patrick J. Adams, Rick Hoffman, Meghan Markle, Sarah Rafferty and Gina Torres. The beginning of this season spent a little much time with Mike working against Harvey as a investment banker, but now he is finally back at the law firm and Louis has discovered his secret. I am pretty sure that Pearson Specter is about the get “Litt the Hell Up.”

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8 Servicemen…

Tuesday was Veteran’s Day, the anniversary of the signing of the armistice, which ended World War I, and a day where we remember and thank those who have served in the military. This is my list of my favorite TV servicemen.

1. Benjamin Franklin ‘Hawkeye’ Pierce – M*A*S*H, played by Alan Alda. Hawkeye is a Captain in the U.S. Army Medical Corps during the Korean War and served at the Mobile Army Surgical Hospital.



2. The Hill Brothers – Enlisted, played by Geoff Stults, Chris Lowell and Parker Young. Pete is a Staff Sergeant at Fort McGee in Florida where his brothers, Corporal Derrick Hill and Private First Class Randy Hill, are stationed. If you could not tell already, I am *still* not over the cancellation of this show.

3. The A-Team, played by George Peppard, Dirk Benedict, Mr. T and Dwight Schultz. This team included Lieutenant Colonel John ‘Hannibal’ Smith, Lieutenant Templeton ‘Faceman’ Peck, Sergeant First Class Bosco Albert ‘B.A.’ Baracus and Captain H.M. ‘Howling Mad’ Murdock. After being court-martialed for a crime they did not commit, they became mercenaries and helped people in need.



4. Tim Gutterson – Justified, played by Jacob Pitts. Before becoming a Deputy U.S. Marshall in Lexington, Kentucky, Tim was a U.S. Army Ranger trained sniper who served in Iraq and Afghanistan. The sound quality on this video is not great, but I love Tim’s line.


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8 Excellent Bosses…

To be fair, not all of these characters are actually excellent at being the boss, but they are still fun to watch! Happy National Boss’s Day!

1. Wilhelmina Slater – Ugly Betty, played by Vanessa Williams. Willie was not the nicest person, to say the least, but she did know how to run a magazine.



2. Josiah Bartlett – The West Wing, played by Martin Sheen. I do not care what anyone else says, President Bartlett is and will always be my favorite TV President.



3. Nancy Botwin – Weeds, played by Mary Louise Parker. Okay, Nancy was actually a really horrible boss. She always seemed to make spectacularly bad decisions, but could somehow still find a way to make everything right(ish) in the end.



4. Art Mullen – Justified, played by Nick Searcy. While Art seems to have a hard time controlling Raylan and keeping him out of trouble, he always has the best lines.

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8 of My Favorite TV Lawyers…

In honor of my older brother’s 35th birthday today, and because he is a fancy New York lawyer, I give you a list of my favorite television lawyers. I decided to make my list of characters from shows that are *not* about lawyers, because otherwise there would just be too many from which to choose.

1. Clair Huxtable – The Cosby Show played by Phylicia Rashad, an awesome lawyer, a partner at her firm, and a fantastic mother of five. I want to be Clair when I grow up.

2. Marshall Erikson – How I Met Your Mother played by Jason Segel, he went to law school in order to protect the environment but often uses his lawyering skills against his friends.

3. Ally Lowen – Sons of Anarchy played by Robin Weigert, you have to be pretty bad-ass if you represent a motorcycle club that runs guns.

4. Cliff McCormack – Veronica Mars played by Daran Norris, as a friend to her dad, Cliff is always willing to help Veronica out of a jam.

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