Lucifer

Quotes of the Week: May 28-June 6

Since the ATX Television Festival is starting tomorrow, my schedule is a little wonky this week. So, here are my favorite quotes from the past week and a half, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

The White Princess
Duchess of Burgundy: We are none of us fearless, ma fleur tremblante. But we are women and we do what we must do.

Lady Margaret: Men are weak. Swayed by beauty. Women must be stronger.

Lucifer
Trixie: You don’t have to speak in code. I can handle adult stuff.

Downward Dog
Nan: Is it a bad sign if I like my dog less because he’s into Kevin?

iZombie
Clive: How do you like old Earl now, ya damn dirty lich?

Blaine: That’s from an impotent proctologist, by the way. Enjoy!

Fargo
Sy: The world… the world is wrong.
Esther: What are you sayin’, huh?
Sy: It looks like my world, but everything’s different.

Doctor Who
Missy: Your version of good is not absolute.

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Quotes of the Week: May 14-27

These are my favorite quotes from the past two weeks, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

The White Princess
Dowager Queen Elizabeth: What will you say to God when you see him? How will you explain all that blood on your hands?

American Gods
Zorya: You believe in nothing, so you have nothing.

Mr. Wednesday: So you didn’t believe ’til you did, and then the world changed because you believed.

Supergirl
Cat: I can imagine that you’re feeling afraid, and feeling like your world is spinning out of control but believe me, you have a power. And right now, you have a job to do. Resist. Resist these invaders with everything you’ve got. They come with empty promises and closed fists. They promise to make our world great again, and yet they know nothing about the people who make this world great. They think they can con us. And if that doesn’t work, what, they’re going to beat us into submission? They have no idea who they’re up against. Aliens and humans, we need to band together, and we need to stand up and fight back. Everyone needs to be a superhero. Everyone needs to get up and say, ‘Not in my house!’ Let’s prove to these thugs that we are strong, and we’re united, and we are not going to be conquered.

Lucifer
Linda: You’re trying to Parent Trap God and the Divine Goddess?!

Jane the Virgin
Rafael: When I think of family, you’re who I see.

Brockmire
Jim: You ever made eye contact with someone while they stuck a finger farther and farther up your butt? And you don’t know how much more you can handle, but they do?
Joe Buck: I am in the bathroom right now.
Jim: Ah, just answer the question, Joe.
Joe Buck: I was born in Florida. Of course I’ve had a finger in my ass.
Jim: Then you know what it’s like to be in love, Joe Buck.

12 Monkeys
Jones: My friend’s friend is no more trustworthy than my enemy’s enemy.

Jennifer: Okay, egg, listen up. You’re gonna see something weird. Don’t be scared, okay?
Young Jennifer: Okay, chicken.

Jones: No god shall forgive us this sin. Perhaps none should. For that, all we have is each other.

Athan: The history I’ve seen is one of great women sung badly by clumsy men.

Deacon: It’s the beginning.
Jennifer: The beginning of the end.

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Quotes of the Week: November 20-December 3

These are my favorite quotes from the past two weeks, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching. I thought that, with the holiday, I would not have as many. Clearly, I was wrong.

Supergirl
Kara: If I leave you here, Alex will never forgive me.
Jeremiah: Kara, if you die here, there will be no one to forgive.

Kara: You can still be scared while being brave.

Jane the Virgin
Jane: I’m gonna hug you, okay? Just stand still.

Conviction
Hayes: Noble intentions don’t make it okay to withhold information or obscure the truth.

Timeless
Rufus: What’s the point of having a time machine if you can’t fix your regrets?

Lucy: So what are our options? We stay here and fight off the French or die of smallpox eventually?
Rufus: Pretty much.
Wyatt: Likely death either way.
Rufus: Yeah.
Wyatt: What the hell? I’m in.
Lucy: Me too.
Rufus: Tough call for me. I was really hoping to be sold into slavery.

The Flash
Caitlin: Some things you break can’t be put back together.

H.R.: Barry’s real super power isn’t speed, it’s hope.

Barry: I told you I couldn’t do this without you.
Iris: And you’ll never have to.

Joe: Every time I think you’ve run out of ways to show me you’re a hero, you show me another one.

New Girl
Nick: Look at that, Mom, I’m gonna be a hero.
Schmidt: Why are you looking up? Your mother is still alive.
Nick: I’m looking at Chicago.
Schmidt: You think Chicago is up?
Nick: It’s North.

Schmidt: I know who you are and I still love you.

This Is Us
Olivia: How does it feel to be dying?
William: It feels… like all these beautiful pieces of life are flying around me and… I’m trying to catch them. When my granddaughter falls asleep in my lap, I try to catch the feeling of her breathing against me. And when I make my son laugh, I try to catch the sound of him laughing. How it rolls up from his chest. But the pieces are moving faster now, and I can’t catch them all. I can feel them slipping through my fingertips. And soon, where there used to be my granddaughter breathing and my son laughing, there will be… nothing.
Olivia: Oh.
William: I know it feels like you have all the time in the world. But you don’t. So, stop playing it so cool. Catch the moments of your life. Catch them while you’re young and quick. Because sooner than you know it, you’ll be old and slow. And there’ll be no more of them to catch. And when a nice boy who adores you offers you pie, say thank you.

No Tomorrow
Kareema: I can’t believe you’re doing work that isn’t actual work just to try to get a job and have more work.

Mary Anne: I couldn’t decide if I should drink or take a bath, so I’m kinda doin’ both.

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Quotes of the Week: November 13-19

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Supergirl
James: This is who I am. I can’t hide behind my camera anymore. If there’s a cost, I’ll pay it.

Lucifer
Jensen: Carbs are the Devil’s spawn, man.
Lucifer: Don’t blame your weaknesses on me!

Timeless
Agent Christopher: When you find Flynn, maybe you can blind him with that suit.
Wyatt: I look like Greg Brady.
Agent Christopher: Well, go find Marcia and Peter and get going.

Mark Felt: All I want is a president who plays by the same rules as everyone else. Now is that too much to ask?

The Flash
Barry: There is no Flash without Iris West.

New Girl
Schmidt: This just proves my theory that if you were a man, you would have a very difficult time getting an erection.
Jess: You have a theory about that?

Schmidt: My wife gave me a fat-man scarf!

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Quotes of the Week: October 23-29

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Supergirl
J‘onn: People in this world don’t have much tolerance for others who look different. I say that as an alien, and as someone who’s worn the face of a black man for fifteen years.

Lucifer
Lucifer: Welcome to Devil Time.
Chloe: What are you doing?
Lucifer: Trying out my new catch phrase.
Dan: “Welcome to Devil Time”? What the hell does that mean?
Lucifer: She knows what it means.
Jamie: I have no idea what that means.

Chloe: A couple days ago, I was in a really bad car accident. And I’ve spent the last few days trying to convince everybody that cares about me that it wasn’t a big deal. The truth is, I’m terrified. I’m scared of how it can all just end, with no rhyme or reason. And what I want to do right now is just go home and read a bedtime story to my daughter. But, you know, that’s not up to me either. We can’t control what happens to us, only how it affects us and the choices we make.

Timeless
Ian Fleming: Rufus, there are allies, contacts, and women, but never trust. Only the mission.

Conviction
Hayes: Honestly, Dan, I hope your audience sees through this charade, because this here – Me in these pearls and this stupid suit – this is what privilege looks like.
Dan: Can you elaborate on that?
Hayes: The fact that you’re here talking to me – this is the problem. Rich, famous, powerful people get away with murder all the time, sometimes literally. Coke in the purse, insider trading, sexual assault – you name it. I screw up. Because of my last name, the cops call the DA. He calls my mom. Strings are pulled. I’m out on the street in an hour with a new job – a job I initially had no interest in. Funny thing is, I like causing trouble, busting the system, exposing wrongful convictions. Kind of gets me off. So, really, it worked for me, again. Now, hopefully, it’s also a bonus to people like Penny Price – a mom accused of killing her own son – to have me on their side. Because I may be a hot mess, but I’m a hot mess with privilege. And since Penny Price has none, the least I can do is lend her some of mine.

The West Wing
Senator Marino: It seems to me that more and more we’ve come to expect less and less from each other.

Arrow
Diggle: You broke me out of prison.
Lyla: For better or worse, Johnny.
Diggle: I told you I wanted to stay.
Lyla: And I figured, if you wanted to make your own decisions then you wouldn’t have gotten married.

Evelyn: Things have really fallen apart without Oliver.
Oliver: It’s a good thing I’m back then.
Rory: Was he waiting for an entrance line?
Curtis: No. He’s just that cool.

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Quotes of the Week: October 9-15

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Supergirl
Alex: Your cousin smells terrific.

Clark: Being Kara is just as important as being Supergirl.

Clark: Up, up?
Kara: And away!

Lucifer
Lucifer: Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire.
Chloe: Lucifer.
Lucifer: I mean, I’ve heard of hot pants, but this really brings new meaning to the term “fire crotch,” doesn’t it?
Chloe: Lucifer!
Lucifer: Wait. I have more. Smokey Bobinson. Weekend at Burnie’s.
Ella: His burning bush?
Lucifer: Oh. Very good. That was actually me, by the way, so don’t tell anyone.

Lucifer: I punish because I’m good at it. I love giving people their due. Makes me happy.

Conviction
Hayes: If you don’t want me to sleep with waiters from Mom’s campaign events, don’t hire hot ones.

Hayes: Next time you want to check up on me, find a different spy, because I’m never sleeping with someone already in bed with my mother.

Timeless
Wyatt: An actor.
Lucy: Pretty well-known too. But his brother, Edwin, was literally the most famous actor in America. John never quite measured up.
Rufus: So, this is like if Donnie Wahlberg assassinated the president.
Lucy: Pretty much, actually.

The Flash
Barry: I’ve kissed Iris West twice, and I have managed to erase both times from existence!
Felicity: Yeah, I hate it when that happens.

Felicity: Everybody likes Barry Allen. You’re like pudding. Everybody likes pudding.

Jay: Are you just gonna take a do-over every time you make a mistake? Or will you live with them, and move forward?

Iris: Where ever you go, you’ll always be Barry, and I’ll always be Iris. We always find each other.

New Girl
Jess: You can’t be mad at these people.
Schmidt: But they were all horrible to me, Jess.
Jess: And that’s why you left. You created your own path. You changed cities. You made friends. You found your purpose. You met the love of your life!
Schmidt: I sure did.

The Real O’Neals
Jodi: I’ll make you a deal. I’ll do the modeling gig if you go out with VP Murray on a real date.
Eileen: And why would I do that?
Jodi: Because it’s National Coming Out Day. And if I can come out as someone who’s plus-size, you can come out as someone who’s got a crush on a thin man in Lycra.
Eileen: Of all the fabrics in all the world, he had to wear that one.

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Quotes of the Week: October 2-8

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Westworld
Dolores: There’s a path for everyone. Your path leads you back to me.

Peter: You don’t know where you are. Do you? You’re in a prison of your own sins.

Masters of Sex
Bram: Hey, pal, if you want to do a little do-si-do with Gloria, the gal I walked in here with, she’s got quite a beaver.
Libby: What?!
Bram: Her coat is beaver.

Cleo: Nothing radical has ever been catered.

Luke Cage
Luke: I’m about sick of always having to buy new clothes.

The West Wing
Josh: What do you say about a government that goes out of its way to protect even citizens that try to destroy it?
Toby: God Bless America.

Lucifer
Lucifer: Liar, liar, slutty dress on fire, Mother.

Lucifer: How far can a celestial being trapped in a feeble human body for the first time get?
Maze: Well, let’s see. She’s stupid hot, wearing my clothes, and she’s got a corporate credit card.
Lucifer: Bollocks.

Conviction
Hayes: Why be the fox guarding the hen house, when I can be the wolf who mauls the fox and anyone else who gets in her way?

Timeless
Wyatt: It might be the ’30s, but Jersey is Jersey.

Commander Rosendahl: Who are you?
Lucy: This is Dr. Dre. I’m Nurse Jackie. We’re from General Hospital.

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Quotes of the Week: April 25-April 30

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Jane the Virgin
Rafael: Hey, uh, you wanna maybe change a diaper?
Petra: No, thanks. I changed one a few days ago.

Rogelio: We want to capture Eleanor’s inner beauty, but on the outside.

Jane: Marry the salt shakers.
Anezka: …Do you, salt, take you, salt?

Lucifer
Lucifer: Why don’t we just skip that part and go straight to the main course?
Chloe: Because it’s incredibly impulsive and shortsighted.
Lucifer: Have you noticed that’s my jam?

Blindspot
Jane: When I see you here, at the end of the day, I feel safe.

New Girl
J. Cronkite: I must say, this is not my favorite sort of white people in here.
Nick: Me neither. My favorite kind of white people are redheads with high socks. Male or female.

Cece: The very fact that socks exist is proof that shoes don’t work.

The Flash
Jesse: Bio Chem was one of my majors in college.
Barry: *One* of your majors? How many did you have?
Jesse: Five. What? Is that not common here?

Joe: I can’t watch you be a human punching bag until he turns into Grandpa Simpson.

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Quotes of the Week: April 18-24

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Supergirl
Kara: People of National City, this is Supergirl and… I hope you can hear me. We have been attacked. Mothers and fathers, friends and neighbors, children, everyone. Suddenly stopped by a force of evil as great as this world has ever known. Your attacker has thought to take your free will, your individuality, your spirit, everything that makes you who you are. When facing an attack like this, it’s easy to feel hopeless. We retreat. We lose our strength, lose ourselves. I know. I lost everything when I was young. When I first landed on this planet, I was sad and alone but, I found out that there is so much love in this world out there for the taking. And you, the people of National City, you helped me. You let me be who I’m meant to be. You gave me back to myself. You made me stronger than I ever thought possible, and I love you for that. Now, in each and every one of you, there is a light, a spirit, that can not be snuffed out. It won’t give up. I need your help again. I need you to hope. Hope that you will remember that you can all be heroes. Hope that when faced with an enemy determined to destroy your spirit you will fight back and thrive. Hope that those who once may have shunned you will, in a moment of crisis, come to your aid. Hope that you will see again the faces of those you love, and perhaps even those you’ve lost.

Alex: You’re not the only bad ass in the family.

Kara: To family. Love bonds us all.

Jane the Virgin
Alba: God doesn’t need to see your boobies as you enter the Holy Sacrament of Marriage.

Jane: You’re getting your own color in my calendar!
Michael: Yeah, that’s not as sexy to me as it is to you.

Lucifer
Zoe: What’s this? It’s a chicken. Or what’s left of it.
Lucifer: If that’s supposed to be an offering for me, then I decline on grounds of salmonella.

Lucifer: Felii hircus. It’s Latin. It means “children of the goat.” Why do they always associate me with goats? I mean, I don’t even like their cheese.

Blindspot
Boston: I’ve seen worse. I’ll need a week.
Jane: You’ve got ten hours.
Boston: That is *much* less time!

The Flash
Cisco: The best plan we can come up with so far is to set off a nuclear warhead next to the city’s electrical grid, so…
Barry: We’re not gonna do that.

Zoom: You can’t lock up the darkness!

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Quotes of the Week: March 20-26

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Daredevil
Frank: People that can hurt you, the ones that can really hurt you, are the ones that are close enough to do it. People that get inside you and… and… and tear you apart, and make you feel like you’re never gonna recover. Shit. I’d-I-I would chop my arm off right here, in this restaurant, just to feel that one more time for my wife. My old lady, she didn’t just break my heart. She… she’d rip it out, she’d tear it apart, she’d step on that shit, feed it to a dog. I mean, she was ruthless. She brought the pain. But she’ll never hurt me again. You see, I’ll never feel that. You sit here and you’re all confused about this thing, but you have it. You have everything. So, hold on to it. Use two hands and never let go. You got it?

Supergirl
Cat: If Mel Gibson can present at the Golden Globes, then Supergirl can win the city back.

Lucy: It all makes sense now.

Siobhan: Seriously? I have too much self-esteem to kill myself.

Jane the Virgin
Pablo: Electricity is a funny thing. No one really understands it.

Lucifer
Lucifer: Frank Lawrence. The most evil of people have the most normal names, I’ve experienced. Beware anyone named Keith.

Father Lawrence: We might not always understand it, but God has a plan.
Lucifer: Yes, I know. But, why does everybody always think it’s a *good* plan?

Lost Girl
Bo: It’s the end of an era.

Kensi: Who needs weapons when you’ve got…mascara and heels?

Bo: I promise you will not grow up a lost girl.

The Flash
Dr. Wells: You lose a chunk of your humanity every time you compromise your values.

Cisco: Why do the crazy ones always name themselves?

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