Lucifer

Quotes of the Week: October 2-8

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Westworld
Dolores: There’s a path for everyone. Your path leads you back to me.

Peter: You don’t know where you are. Do you? You’re in a prison of your own sins.

Masters of Sex
Bram: Hey, pal, if you want to do a little do-si-do with Gloria, the gal I walked in here with, she’s got quite a beaver.
Libby: What?!
Bram: Her coat is beaver.

Cleo: Nothing radical has ever been catered.

Luke Cage
Luke: I’m about sick of always having to buy new clothes.

The West Wing
Josh: What do you say about a government that goes out of its way to protect even citizens that try to destroy it?
Toby: God Bless America.

Lucifer
Lucifer: Liar, liar, slutty dress on fire, Mother.

Lucifer: How far can a celestial being trapped in a feeble human body for the first time get?
Maze: Well, let’s see. She’s stupid hot, wearing my clothes, and she’s got a corporate credit card.
Lucifer: Bollocks.

Conviction
Hayes: Why be the fox guarding the hen house, when I can be the wolf who mauls the fox and anyone else who gets in her way?

Timeless
Wyatt: It might be the ’30s, but Jersey is Jersey.

Commander Rosendahl: Who are you?
Lucy: This is Dr. Dre. I’m Nurse Jackie. We’re from General Hospital.

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Quotes of the Week: April 25-April 30

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Jane the Virgin
Rafael: Hey, uh, you wanna maybe change a diaper?
Petra: No, thanks. I changed one a few days ago.

Rogelio: We want to capture Eleanor’s inner beauty, but on the outside.

Jane: Marry the salt shakers.
Anezka: …Do you, salt, take you, salt?

Lucifer
Lucifer: Why don’t we just skip that part and go straight to the main course?
Chloe: Because it’s incredibly impulsive and shortsighted.
Lucifer: Have you noticed that’s my jam?

Blindspot
Jane: When I see you here, at the end of the day, I feel safe.

New Girl
J. Cronkite: I must say, this is not my favorite sort of white people in here.
Nick: Me neither. My favorite kind of white people are redheads with high socks. Male or female.

Cece: The very fact that socks exist is proof that shoes don’t work.

The Flash
Jesse: Bio Chem was one of my majors in college.
Barry: *One* of your majors? How many did you have?
Jesse: Five. What? Is that not common here?

Joe: I can’t watch you be a human punching bag until he turns into Grandpa Simpson.

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Quotes of the Week: April 18-24

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Supergirl
Kara: People of National City, this is Supergirl and… I hope you can hear me. We have been attacked. Mothers and fathers, friends and neighbors, children, everyone. Suddenly stopped by a force of evil as great as this world has ever known. Your attacker has thought to take your free will, your individuality, your spirit, everything that makes you who you are. When facing an attack like this, it’s easy to feel hopeless. We retreat. We lose our strength, lose ourselves. I know. I lost everything when I was young. When I first landed on this planet, I was sad and alone but, I found out that there is so much love in this world out there for the taking. And you, the people of National City, you helped me. You let me be who I’m meant to be. You gave me back to myself. You made me stronger than I ever thought possible, and I love you for that. Now, in each and every one of you, there is a light, a spirit, that can not be snuffed out. It won’t give up. I need your help again. I need you to hope. Hope that you will remember that you can all be heroes. Hope that when faced with an enemy determined to destroy your spirit you will fight back and thrive. Hope that those who once may have shunned you will, in a moment of crisis, come to your aid. Hope that you will see again the faces of those you love, and perhaps even those you’ve lost.

Alex: You’re not the only bad ass in the family.

Kara: To family. Love bonds us all.

Jane the Virgin
Alba: God doesn’t need to see your boobies as you enter the Holy Sacrament of Marriage.

Jane: You’re getting your own color in my calendar!
Michael: Yeah, that’s not as sexy to me as it is to you.

Lucifer
Zoe: What’s this? It’s a chicken. Or what’s left of it.
Lucifer: If that’s supposed to be an offering for me, then I decline on grounds of salmonella.

Lucifer: Felii hircus. It’s Latin. It means “children of the goat.” Why do they always associate me with goats? I mean, I don’t even like their cheese.

Blindspot
Boston: I’ve seen worse. I’ll need a week.
Jane: You’ve got ten hours.
Boston: That is *much* less time!

The Flash
Cisco: The best plan we can come up with so far is to set off a nuclear warhead next to the city’s electrical grid, so…
Barry: We’re not gonna do that.

Zoom: You can’t lock up the darkness!

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Quotes of the Week: March 20-26

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Daredevil
Frank: People that can hurt you, the ones that can really hurt you, are the ones that are close enough to do it. People that get inside you and… and… and tear you apart, and make you feel like you’re never gonna recover. Shit. I’d-I-I would chop my arm off right here, in this restaurant, just to feel that one more time for my wife. My old lady, she didn’t just break my heart. She… she’d rip it out, she’d tear it apart, she’d step on that shit, feed it to a dog. I mean, she was ruthless. She brought the pain. But she’ll never hurt me again. You see, I’ll never feel that. You sit here and you’re all confused about this thing, but you have it. You have everything. So, hold on to it. Use two hands and never let go. You got it?

Supergirl
Cat: If Mel Gibson can present at the Golden Globes, then Supergirl can win the city back.

Lucy: It all makes sense now.

Siobhan: Seriously? I have too much self-esteem to kill myself.

Jane the Virgin
Pablo: Electricity is a funny thing. No one really understands it.

Lucifer
Lucifer: Frank Lawrence. The most evil of people have the most normal names, I’ve experienced. Beware anyone named Keith.

Father Lawrence: We might not always understand it, but God has a plan.
Lucifer: Yes, I know. But, why does everybody always think it’s a *good* plan?

Lost Girl
Bo: It’s the end of an era.

Kensi: Who needs weapons when you’ve got…mascara and heels?

Bo: I promise you will not grow up a lost girl.

The Flash
Dr. Wells: You lose a chunk of your humanity every time you compromise your values.

Cisco: Why do the crazy ones always name themselves?

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Quotes of the Week: March 13-19

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Once Upon a Time
Regina: You defeated me in a way no one thought was possible. You made me your friend, by never giving up on me.

Shameless
Mandy: Don’t worry about him. He’s dead.

Mandy: Just ’cause we were born here, doesn’t mean that we end up here.

Supergirl
Kara: Don’t be jealous. Or do. I don’t really care.

Kara: I would be jealous of anyone you loved.

Cat: I don’t believe in failure. Not if you get back up and face the music.

Lucifer
Lucifer: Speak of the me.

Bitten
Sasha: Torn between my Alpha and my love. My duty and my dream.

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Quotes of the Week: February 28-March 5

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Supergirl
Siobhan: I’m sorry, I have difficulty making conversation with men under six feet tall.

Kara: I save the world better when I save it *with* people.

The Magicians
Mayakovsky: Why are you both so determined to be so fucking bland?

Lucifer
Linda: God cast you out because He needed you to do the most difficult of jobs. It was a gift.
Lucifer: Gift? He shunned me. He vilified me. He made me a torturer! Can you even begin to fathom what it was like? Eons spent providing a place for dead mortals to punish themselves? I mean, why do they blame me for all their little failings? As if I’d spent my days sitting on their shoulder, forcing them to commit acts they’d otherwise find repulsive. “Oh, the Devil made me do it!” I have never made any one of them do anything. Never.
Linda: What happened to you in unfair.
Lucifer: Unfair? This is unjust! For all eternity, my name will be invoked to represent all their depravity. That is the gift that my Father gave me!

Lost Girl
Aife: Bach sounds delightful…as long as it’s followed by Sir Mix-a-Lot.

Trick: Always remember, you’re my blood too.

Blindspot
Patterson: Yes, you can for sure maintain enough air speed. I did the math.
Fischer: How? Where?
Patterson: In my head, where math is done. Please, don’t interrupt.

New Girl
Schmidt: Don’t tell me what to do! I’m her fiancé, not some schnook off the street eating a peanut butter cookie!

Reagan: I hope that the Chicago Cubs win the World Series while you’re in a coma
Nick: That’s one of the meanest things anybody has ever said to me.

Agent Carter
Howard: Jarvis, you just hit a woman with my car!
Jarvis: I know, sir.
Howard: She’s a 2-time Oscar nominee!
Jarvis: Miss Frost is quite resilient. She’s fine. Trust me.

Howard: If she weren’t a homicidal maniac, I’d be in love.

Howard: What am I doing wrong, Jarvis?
Jarvis: We are standing before an incomprehensible rip in the fabric of our world. Use a 7-iron.

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Quotes of the Week: February 14-20

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

The Good Wife
Eli: Now I get why people have children. They can admire themselves in someone else.

Shameless
Professor Youens: We have only two jobs on this earth. The first, to learn. The second, to cope.

Downton Abbey
Daisy: Oh my God!
Mrs. Hughes: I will thank you not to take the name of the Lord in vain.
Daisy: I hope it’s not in vain! I need all the help I can get.

Anna: They do say that opposites attract.
Lady Mary: Yes, they attract. But do they live happily ever after?

Castle
Beckett: Be charming, but not too charming.
Castle: That’s like asking Superman not to be too super.

Lucifer
Dan: What in God’s name are you doing here?
Lucifer: Nothing in His name. Here on my own, actually.

The Magicians
Margo: A great way to get the things you want is to be so miserable you don’t want them anymore.

Lost Girl
Tamsin: She broke my heart.
Acacia: Silver lining: it made you stronger.

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Quotes of the Week: February 7-13

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Supergirl
Cat: If they try to evade you, you remind them that I am still holding on to their Hamilton tickets!

Maxwell: That was one messed up daffodil.

The X-Files
Detective Gross: I don’t want to be confrontational here…
Mulder: It wouldn’t be Philadelphia without a *certain* degree of confrontation.

Mulder: Cutler’s eye-line is trained above the door, about Tim Duncan height. We eliminate any 76ers, ’cause those guy can’t find the rim.

Scully: I don’t care about the big questions right now, Mulder. I just want one more chance to ask my mom a few little ones.

Jane the Virgin
Narrator: This is making me feel a little pervy.

New Girl
Reagan: I think he’s having a seizure.
Cece: No, no. It’s just that when he has to process a lot of emotions, sometimes he likes to do Nick Cannon’s solo from Drumline.

Schmidt: Everybody knows that there is a window of time before any wedding where some amazing person comes out of the woodwork and tries to steal a bride. It’s the plot of every romantic comedy. I’m the Bridgette Wilson-Sampras here!
Cece: Who?
Reagan: I don’t know.
Schmidt: Oh, I suppose you’re both too “cool’ to have seen THE WEDDING PLANNER!

Winston: I’m sorry that I basically let you drown in the shower. And then called you a soggy little bitch.

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Quotes of the Week: January 24-30

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Galavant
Wormwood: Oh, Gareth, you’re smiling. Sorry, could you stop it? I just find it deeply unsettling.

Richard: I just can’t believe he’s dead.
Roberta: Does seem awfully early in the season for something like this.
Sid: Could he be mostly dead? But not all dead, ’cause mostly dead is slightly alive?
Neo: Yeah, that’s not a thing.

Downton Abbey
Edith: I suppose Cousin Isabelle is entitled to put up an argument.
Violet: Of course she is! She’s just not entitled to win it!

Violet: I haven’t been in the kitchens in at least twenty years.
Isabelle: Have you got your passport?

Supergirl
Kara: If you hate bigots more than aliens, then, why are you giving Senator Crane so much attention? She’s horrible.
Cat: Because, Kira, while bigots will always take the gold on the medal podium of my contempt, they make excellent click-bait. Also, the more they talk the more they sabotage themselves. It’s a magical implosion happening right before our very eyes.

Alex: There’s no shame in surviving.

Cat: I never got to put a picture that you’d drawn on the fridge. I never got to tell you stories. And I never got to teach you how not to be afraid of the world. And I never got to tell you how amazing I think you are. I never got to be your mom, but I am your biggest fan.

Jane the Virgin
Alba: Poor Manuel, living in the closet for so long. I’m glad he found his authentic life. I have a gay friend at church, and he explained everything to me.

Telenovela
James: I know I come on strong, okay? I’m just an all-in kinda guy. I’m all-in on love. I’m all-in on work. I’m all-in on Law & Order, I’ll tell you that much. Man, I have seen every single episode, including all the spin-offs. That’s like a thousand hours of television! Oh my good God, maybe I do go a little overboard.

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8 New Mid-Season Shows…

Two lists in one week?! Craziness! I wanted to get this up before the first show premieres tomorrow, but could not do it while I was home in Philadelphia last week. There are a few premiere dates that have not yet been released, so keep checking here for updates.

1. The Shannara Chronicles premieres January 5th on MTV, stars Austin Butler, Manu Bennett, Poppy Drayton, Ivana Baquero, Aaron Jakubenko, Emilia Burns, Marcus Vanco, Brooke Williams, and John Rhys-Davies. This show is based on Terry Brooks’ best-selling fantasy books about a series of adventures, war, and evil that occur throughout the history of these Four Lands. Visually, it looks fantastic and, with Jon Favreau as one of the executive producers, I have very high expectations.



2. Second Chance premieres January 13th on Fox, stars Rob Kazinsky, Tim DeKay, Dilshad Vadsaria, Adhir Kalyan, Vanessa Lengies, Ciara Bravo, and Philip Baker Hall. In this modern version of Frankenstein, a billionaire and a bioengineer bring a dead police officer back to life. After a few title changes, I am a little nervous about this one, but the concept seems interesting and I like the cast, so I will give it a try. The first episode is already on the Fox website if you want to watch it early.



3. Legends of Tomorrow premieres January 21st on The CW, stars Caity Lotz, Brandon Routh, Arthur Darvill, Ciara Renée, Wentworth Miller, Dominic Purcell, Falk Hentschel, Franz Drameh, Casper Crump, Peter Francis James, and Victor Garber. White Canary, The Atom, Firestorm, Captain Cold, Heat Wave, Hawkgirl and Hawkman are all recruited by time-traveler Rip Hunter to prevent an impending apocalypse. I already live inside of Greg Berlanti’s brain, so I am very excited about this Arrow and The Flash spin-off.



4. Lucifer premieres January 25th on Fox, stars Tom Ellis, Lesley-Ann Brandt, Lauren German, D.B. Woodside, Kevin Alejandro, and Rachael Harris. Bored and unhappy as the Lord of Hell, Lucifer leaves his throne in the underworld and comes to Los Angeles and starts running a nightclub. He soon must decide if he will let himself be drawn to the light or be pulled back into darkness. I have really enjoyed Ellis’s previous roles and am interested to see what he does with this DC Comics character.

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