New Girl

Quotes of the Week: February 12-18

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Black Sails
Captain Berringer: The time calls for dark men to do dark things.

The Royals
Lord Westcott: We saw a king today, and it wasn’t you.

Jane the Virgin
Alba: It will always feel different. You’ll always feel different. But you will be okay. And your life will be beautiful again. Just in different ways.

New Girl
Kim: I don’t have to explain myself to a chimney sweep!

Timeless
Wyatt: We gotta get outta here right now.
Rufus: We’re just supposed to leave him here like this?
Wyatt: What do you wanna do? Wait for the cops? We don’t have IDs. I’m wearing button-fly jeans from The Gap! There’s nothing we can do.

Arrow
Oliver: We don’t run from hard choices. We rise up and we face tomorrow together.

Riverdale
Kevin: What was it like before she got here? I honestly cannot remember.

The Vampire Diaries
Damon: People do forgive, and when they do redemption *is* possible.

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Quotes of the Week: December 4-17

These are my favorite quotes from the past two weeks, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Shameless
Debbie: We’re South Siders and we don’t sell out.

The Royals
Jasper: I particularly enjoyed the part where you called me a ‘pretty young thing.’
Eleanor: It’s too soon for that.
Jasper: I gave it a shot.

Simon: I’m the King of England. I don’t do my own wet work.

Timeless
Lucy: If there’s only one person for you in the whole world, and you lose them, does that mean you have to live the rest of your life without anyone else? I think you…we…anyone…has to be open to possibilities.

The Flash
H.R.: The longer you deny someone their potential, the more they’re gonna look for it elsewhere.

Iris: I don’t understand. Where are we?
Barry: Home.

New Girl
Jess: Where does a modern girl go to make a fake guy real?

This Is Us
Rebecca: Nothing bad happens on Christmas Eve.

No Tomorrow
Kareema: You’re like a human hangover.

Hank: Are you dead?
Kareema: Inside? Yes. And I like it that way.

Arrow
Oliver: He’s trying to prove to me that everyone I-I…I come in contact with, everyone close to me dies, and he’s right. Y… I think that uh… I think that all of you should get as far away from me as you possibly can.
Diggle: Oliver, we are exactly where we’re supposed to be.

The Vampire Diaries
Damon: Merry Christmas, Ric!
Alaric: I killed you.
Caroline: You what?!
Alaric: He deserved it.

Caroline: Well, Damon’s alive, as you can see, Bonnie and Enzo are late, and Stefan’s dead. Merry Christmas. I’ve got gifts!

Medici: Masters of Florence
Giovanni: A foolish man lives for himself. A wise man lives with a purpose.

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Quotes of the Week: November 20-December 3

These are my favorite quotes from the past two weeks, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching. I thought that, with the holiday, I would not have as many. Clearly, I was wrong.

Supergirl
Kara: If I leave you here, Alex will never forgive me.
Jeremiah: Kara, if you die here, there will be no one to forgive.

Kara: You can still be scared while being brave.

Jane the Virgin
Jane: I’m gonna hug you, okay? Just stand still.

Conviction
Hayes: Noble intentions don’t make it okay to withhold information or obscure the truth.

Timeless
Rufus: What’s the point of having a time machine if you can’t fix your regrets?

Lucy: So what are our options? We stay here and fight off the French or die of smallpox eventually?
Rufus: Pretty much.
Wyatt: Likely death either way.
Rufus: Yeah.
Wyatt: What the hell? I’m in.
Lucy: Me too.
Rufus: Tough call for me. I was really hoping to be sold into slavery.

The Flash
Caitlin: Some things you break can’t be put back together.

H.R.: Barry’s real super power isn’t speed, it’s hope.

Barry: I told you I couldn’t do this without you.
Iris: And you’ll never have to.

Joe: Every time I think you’ve run out of ways to show me you’re a hero, you show me another one.

New Girl
Nick: Look at that, Mom, I’m gonna be a hero.
Schmidt: Why are you looking up? Your mother is still alive.
Nick: I’m looking at Chicago.
Schmidt: You think Chicago is up?
Nick: It’s North.

Schmidt: I know who you are and I still love you.

This Is Us
Olivia: How does it feel to be dying?
William: It feels… like all these beautiful pieces of life are flying around me and… I’m trying to catch them. When my granddaughter falls asleep in my lap, I try to catch the feeling of her breathing against me. And when I make my son laugh, I try to catch the sound of him laughing. How it rolls up from his chest. But the pieces are moving faster now, and I can’t catch them all. I can feel them slipping through my fingertips. And soon, where there used to be my granddaughter breathing and my son laughing, there will be… nothing.
Olivia: Oh.
William: I know it feels like you have all the time in the world. But you don’t. So, stop playing it so cool. Catch the moments of your life. Catch them while you’re young and quick. Because sooner than you know it, you’ll be old and slow. And there’ll be no more of them to catch. And when a nice boy who adores you offers you pie, say thank you.

No Tomorrow
Kareema: I can’t believe you’re doing work that isn’t actual work just to try to get a job and have more work.

Mary Anne: I couldn’t decide if I should drink or take a bath, so I’m kinda doin’ both.

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Quotes of the Week: November 13-19

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Supergirl
James: This is who I am. I can’t hide behind my camera anymore. If there’s a cost, I’ll pay it.

Lucifer
Jensen: Carbs are the Devil’s spawn, man.
Lucifer: Don’t blame your weaknesses on me!

Timeless
Agent Christopher: When you find Flynn, maybe you can blind him with that suit.
Wyatt: I look like Greg Brady.
Agent Christopher: Well, go find Marcia and Peter and get going.

Mark Felt: All I want is a president who plays by the same rules as everyone else. Now is that too much to ask?

The Flash
Barry: There is no Flash without Iris West.

New Girl
Schmidt: This just proves my theory that if you were a man, you would have a very difficult time getting an erection.
Jess: You have a theory about that?

Schmidt: My wife gave me a fat-man scarf!

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Quotes of the Week: October 9-15

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Supergirl
Alex: Your cousin smells terrific.

Clark: Being Kara is just as important as being Supergirl.

Clark: Up, up?
Kara: And away!

Lucifer
Lucifer: Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire.
Chloe: Lucifer.
Lucifer: I mean, I’ve heard of hot pants, but this really brings new meaning to the term “fire crotch,” doesn’t it?
Chloe: Lucifer!
Lucifer: Wait. I have more. Smokey Bobinson. Weekend at Burnie’s.
Ella: His burning bush?
Lucifer: Oh. Very good. That was actually me, by the way, so don’t tell anyone.

Lucifer: I punish because I’m good at it. I love giving people their due. Makes me happy.

Conviction
Hayes: If you don’t want me to sleep with waiters from Mom’s campaign events, don’t hire hot ones.

Hayes: Next time you want to check up on me, find a different spy, because I’m never sleeping with someone already in bed with my mother.

Timeless
Wyatt: An actor.
Lucy: Pretty well-known too. But his brother, Edwin, was literally the most famous actor in America. John never quite measured up.
Rufus: So, this is like if Donnie Wahlberg assassinated the president.
Lucy: Pretty much, actually.

The Flash
Barry: I’ve kissed Iris West twice, and I have managed to erase both times from existence!
Felicity: Yeah, I hate it when that happens.

Felicity: Everybody likes Barry Allen. You’re like pudding. Everybody likes pudding.

Jay: Are you just gonna take a do-over every time you make a mistake? Or will you live with them, and move forward?

Iris: Where ever you go, you’ll always be Barry, and I’ll always be Iris. We always find each other.

New Girl
Jess: You can’t be mad at these people.
Schmidt: But they were all horrible to me, Jess.
Jess: And that’s why you left. You created your own path. You changed cities. You made friends. You found your purpose. You met the love of your life!
Schmidt: I sure did.

The Real O’Neals
Jodi: I’ll make you a deal. I’ll do the modeling gig if you go out with VP Murray on a real date.
Eileen: And why would I do that?
Jodi: Because it’s National Coming Out Day. And if I can come out as someone who’s plus-size, you can come out as someone who’s got a crush on a thin man in Lycra.
Eileen: Of all the fabrics in all the world, he had to wear that one.

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Quotes of the Week: October 2-8

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Westworld
Dolores: There’s a path for everyone. Your path leads you back to me.

Peter: You don’t know where you are. Do you? You’re in a prison of your own sins.

Masters of Sex
Bram: Hey, pal, if you want to do a little do-si-do with Gloria, the gal I walked in here with, she’s got quite a beaver.
Libby: What?!
Bram: Her coat is beaver.

Cleo: Nothing radical has ever been catered.

Luke Cage
Luke: I’m about sick of always having to buy new clothes.

The West Wing
Josh: What do you say about a government that goes out of its way to protect even citizens that try to destroy it?
Toby: God Bless America.

Lucifer
Lucifer: Liar, liar, slutty dress on fire, Mother.

Lucifer: How far can a celestial being trapped in a feeble human body for the first time get?
Maze: Well, let’s see. She’s stupid hot, wearing my clothes, and she’s got a corporate credit card.
Lucifer: Bollocks.

Conviction
Hayes: Why be the fox guarding the hen house, when I can be the wolf who mauls the fox and anyone else who gets in her way?

Timeless
Wyatt: It might be the ’30s, but Jersey is Jersey.

Commander Rosendahl: Who are you?
Lucy: This is Dr. Dre. I’m Nurse Jackie. We’re from General Hospital.

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Quotes of the Week: September 25-October 1

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

New Girl
Jess: Let’s get ready to Rodham!

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Director Mace: There’s so much S.H.I.E.L.D. history that Agent Carter herself didn’t know it all.

Mack: Why? Why are you doing this?
Fitz: Because she’s turned her back on us, Mack! Because something terrible happened, and she didn’t want our help getting through it!
Mack: Slow down, Turbo.
Fitz: Well, we’ve all been through terrible things, all of us, and we’ve never turned our back!
Daisy: I…I’m doing what I need to do.
Mack: And it still affects us. Like it or not.

This Is Us
Kevin: What did I ever do those first two minutes without you?
Kate: Uh, you cried and you crapped a lot.
Kevin: Sounds about right.

Toby: I heard that Deadpool was her idea… or maybe it was Hamilton, I get those two confused.

Rebecca: Hey, how do you think we’re doing so far? At parenting?
Jack: I…
Rebecca: ‘Cause I think we’re at a six. On a sliding scale, one through ten, I think we’re at a six, and I think I’m being generous.
Jack: Bec…
Rebecca: Seven, fine, but only because there are three of them.
Jack: Baby, I…
Rebecca: And the thing is, I’m trying really hard to get us to a nine. Because they are cute kids, and they deserve nine-parents. And the thing is, I feel like I’m there, Jack. I feel like I’m operating at a nine. Because I do individualized lunches, and I do individualized tuck-ins for each kid so nobody feels gypped. And… when you’re home, and you’re you, you’re way better than I am. You’re a ten when you’re you, Jack. But you’re getting home later and later, and when you do come home, you’re…
Jack: Bec, what are you saying?
Rebecca: The drinking has to stop. You have to reign it in, baby, because I won’t have it in my house.
Jack: You won’t have it in your house.
Rebecca: I won’t! So, if it’s a problem, fix it. Be a man, and fix it. Because I’m done letting you lower our score.

The West Wing
Ron: It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t Gina’s fault. It wasn’t Charlie’s fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault, Toby. It was an act of madmen. You think a tent was going to stop them? We got the President in the car. We got Zoe in the car. And at 150 yards and five stories up, the shooters were down 9.2 seconds after the first shot was fired. I would never let you not let me protect the President. You tell us you don’t like something, we figure out something else. It was an act of madmen.

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Quotes of the Week: May 8-14

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

The Good Wife
Alicia: You think you can play the emotional card with me? You think I’m gonna break down and cry? Look at me. Do I look like I’m breaking down?

Lucca: Who do you want to come home to every night? Who do you want to see when you open your door?

Alicia: I’ll love you forever.
Will: I’m okay with that.

Game of Thrones
Tormund: They think you’re some kind of god. The man who returned from the dead.
Jon: I’m not a god.
Tormund: I know that. I saw your pecker. What kind of god would have a pecker that small?

Lady Olenna: Margaery is the queen. You are *not* the queen because you are not married to the king. I do appreciate that things can get a bit confusing in your family.

Jaqen: If a girl is truly no one, she has nothing to fear.

Veep
President Meyer: Can I *really* blame another country for something they didn’t do?
Ben: It’s been the cornerstone of American foreign policy since the Spanish-American War.

Elementary
Morland: Being loved by you is a dangerous thing, Sherlock. Probably why I’m still alive. Men like us, we’re not meant to make such connections.

Jane the Virgin
Xiomara: Where are you going?
Jane: To make sure Petra doesn’t corrupt Rafael’s soul.

12 Monkeys
Cole: We need to bury the past. It’s the only way to save the future.

Blindspot
Weller: These *look* like they belong in a museum.
Patterson: Thank you! I collect a lot of cool stuff.

Castle
Alexis: We’re going to open it now, right?
Castle: Well, duh. When an axe-wielding psychopath is killed by a demon trying to get inside, clearly, whatever’s in there is worth seeing.

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Quotes of the Week: April 25-April 30

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Jane the Virgin
Rafael: Hey, uh, you wanna maybe change a diaper?
Petra: No, thanks. I changed one a few days ago.

Rogelio: We want to capture Eleanor’s inner beauty, but on the outside.

Jane: Marry the salt shakers.
Anezka: …Do you, salt, take you, salt?

Lucifer
Lucifer: Why don’t we just skip that part and go straight to the main course?
Chloe: Because it’s incredibly impulsive and shortsighted.
Lucifer: Have you noticed that’s my jam?

Blindspot
Jane: When I see you here, at the end of the day, I feel safe.

New Girl
J. Cronkite: I must say, this is not my favorite sort of white people in here.
Nick: Me neither. My favorite kind of white people are redheads with high socks. Male or female.

Cece: The very fact that socks exist is proof that shoes don’t work.

The Flash
Jesse: Bio Chem was one of my majors in college.
Barry: *One* of your majors? How many did you have?
Jesse: Five. What? Is that not common here?

Joe: I can’t watch you be a human punching bag until he turns into Grandpa Simpson.

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Quotes of the Week: April 11-17

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Supergirl
Cat: Call Harrison Ford and tell him that I’m flattered but, once and for all, I do not date older men. Especially when they’re married.

Non: The human race finally has a chance to live, or it would suffer the same fate as Krypton. And the same thing is happening on Earth, with a populace more interested in reality stars and political circuses than working together to solve the world’s problems.
Max: So, mind control is the answer to global warming. Why didn’t I think of that?

Cat: Hope is stronger than fear.

Blindspot
Zapata: Aldebaran is the brightest star in Taurus, as in, the Taurus bull…What? I like stars and I was very unpopular in high school.

David: I’m gonna go.
Paterson: I don’t want you to.
David: I know. But, I’m already gone.

Castle
Prince Hasheim: If one wished to keep priceless history safe from looters and terrorists, there is no better place for them to wait out the conflict than in the basement of the Smithsonian.

Castle: I think I’m all done with genies.
Beckett: What? Why the change of heart?
Castle: Well, because of you, of course.
Beckett: Oh, really? So, after eight years, some of my common sense has finally rubbed off on you?
Castle: No. No, no, no, nothing like that. Uhm, I have no need for genies simply because I already have everything I could ever wish for.
Beckett: Right back atcha, handsome. Oh, wait, uhm, so you wouldn’t even wish for a working light saber?
Castle: Nope.
Beckett: Okay. Transporter, like the ones in Star Trek? You would never have to fly again.
Castle: I like flying.
Beckett: Huh. Time machine?
Castle: Only to go back and fall in love with you all over again.
Beckett: Wow, that was a good answer.
Castle: I know, right?

iZombie
Liv: Major is a zombie.
Clive: Metaphorically?

Liv: A massive zombie outbreak means never having to say you’re sorry.

Vivian: Vivian Stoll, Fillmore-Graves Enterprises.
Clive: Clive Babineaux, Seattle PD. This is Liv Moore from the Medical Examiner’s office.
Vivian: You’re gonna be a busy girl.
Major: Major Lilywhite. Personal Trainer.

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