The Originals

Quotes of the Week: February 28-March 5

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Supergirl
Siobhan: I’m sorry, I have difficulty making conversation with men under six feet tall.

Kara: I save the world better when I save it *with* people.

The Magicians
Mayakovsky: Why are you both so determined to be so fucking bland?

Lucifer
Linda: God cast you out because He needed you to do the most difficult of jobs. It was a gift.
Lucifer: Gift? He shunned me. He vilified me. He made me a torturer! Can you even begin to fathom what it was like? Eons spent providing a place for dead mortals to punish themselves? I mean, why do they blame me for all their little failings? As if I’d spent my days sitting on their shoulder, forcing them to commit acts they’d otherwise find repulsive. “Oh, the Devil made me do it!” I have never made any one of them do anything. Never.
Linda: What happened to you in unfair.
Lucifer: Unfair? This is unjust! For all eternity, my name will be invoked to represent all their depravity. That is the gift that my Father gave me!

Lost Girl
Aife: Bach sounds delightful…as long as it’s followed by Sir Mix-a-Lot.

Trick: Always remember, you’re my blood too.

Blindspot
Patterson: Yes, you can for sure maintain enough air speed. I did the math.
Fischer: How? Where?
Patterson: In my head, where math is done. Please, don’t interrupt.

New Girl
Schmidt: Don’t tell me what to do! I’m her fiancĂ©, not some schnook off the street eating a peanut butter cookie!

Reagan: I hope that the Chicago Cubs win the World Series while you’re in a coma
Nick: That’s one of the meanest things anybody has ever said to me.

Agent Carter
Howard: Jarvis, you just hit a woman with my car!
Jarvis: I know, sir.
Howard: She’s a 2-time Oscar nominee!
Jarvis: Miss Frost is quite resilient. She’s fine. Trust me.

Howard: If she weren’t a homicidal maniac, I’d be in love.

Howard: What am I doing wrong, Jarvis?
Jarvis: We are standing before an incomprehensible rip in the fabric of our world. Use a 7-iron.

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Quotes of the Week: January 24-30

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Galavant
Wormwood: Oh, Gareth, you’re smiling. Sorry, could you stop it? I just find it deeply unsettling.

Richard: I just can’t believe he’s dead.
Roberta: Does seem awfully early in the season for something like this.
Sid: Could he be mostly dead? But not all dead, ’cause mostly dead is slightly alive?
Neo: Yeah, that’s not a thing.

Downton Abbey
Edith: I suppose Cousin Isabelle is entitled to put up an argument.
Violet: Of course she is! She’s just not entitled to win it!

Violet: I haven’t been in the kitchens in at least twenty years.
Isabelle: Have you got your passport?

Supergirl
Kara: If you hate bigots more than aliens, then, why are you giving Senator Crane so much attention? She’s horrible.
Cat: Because, Kira, while bigots will always take the gold on the medal podium of my contempt, they make excellent click-bait. Also, the more they talk the more they sabotage themselves. It’s a magical implosion happening right before our very eyes.

Alex: There’s no shame in surviving.

Cat: I never got to put a picture that you’d drawn on the fridge. I never got to tell you stories. And I never got to teach you how not to be afraid of the world. And I never got to tell you how amazing I think you are. I never got to be your mom, but I am your biggest fan.

Jane the Virgin
Alba: Poor Manuel, living in the closet for so long. I’m glad he found his authentic life. I have a gay friend at church, and he explained everything to me.

Telenovela
James: I know I come on strong, okay? I’m just an all-in kinda guy. I’m all-in on love. I’m all-in on work. I’m all-in on Law & Order, I’ll tell you that much. Man, I have seen every single episode, including all the spin-offs. That’s like a thousand hours of television! Oh my good God, maybe I do go a little overboard.

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Quotes of the Week: November 22-December 5

These are my favorite quotes from the past two weeks, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Master of None
Anush: I’ll just be doing some burpees over there in the kitchen.

Jessica Jones
Claire: You don’t need powers to be of use.

Empire
Skye: Thank you for seeing me.
Jamal: Thank you for letting me see you.

Kingdom
Ryan: Getting by is not an option if you can be exceptional.

The Leftovers
G.R. Leader: Violence is weakness.

Quantico
Natalie: Sir, with respect, when the people you trust the most are all on one side and you’re the only one on the other, what does that make you?

Superstore
Garrett: Yo, you should come with us, man. We’re gonna throw some mannequin limbs in the dumpster and watch garbage men freak out.
Jonah: That sounds awesome.
Garrett: It is awesome.

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Quotes of the Week: November 15-21

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Once Upon a Time
Zelina: Let’s just say, when the Dark One offers you onion rings, don’t eat them!

Regina: There’s a difference between not knowing something and not *wanting* to admit it.

Supergirl
Cat: I put her in that helicopter. If anyone should feel guilty, it’s me. Not that I do.

Cat: The world is full of so much noise and snark. Much of it we generate. Today, why don’t we elevate this city’s level of discourse instead with a photo essay of all the people who spent their holidays volunteering at soup kitchens and shelters. Let’s see if we can’t bring some attention to those organizations.
Kara: I think that’s a great idea.
Cat: Well, of course you do. I pitched it. Thanksgiving sells. Liberals love to feel guilty, so let’s just squeeze as much juice out of those turkeys as we can.

Jane the Virgin
Magda: I think the Russian red-haired lady in the kitchen is trying to poison me.

Narrator: For those of you keeping track at home, that’s now three children for Rafael and zero sex.

Blindspot
You guys are about as funny as I thought you’d be.

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Quotes of the Week: October 25-31

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

The Man In The High Castle
Tagomi: Fate is fluid, Colonel Waggoner. Destiny is in the hands of men.

Randall: It takes a lot of effort not to be free, keeping your head down, holding your tongue.

Supergirl
Cat: It’s not that I don’t see your frown, it’s just that I don’t care enough to ask why it’s there.

Jane the Virgin
Instructor: I know it can seem a little silly, but that’s how language develops. Narrate everything.
Narrator: But don’t step on my toes, Jane. I’ve got a job to do.

Narrator: How do you find the words to say that your psychotic ex-wife inseminated herself with your stolen sperm?

Michael: What exactly is the emergency here?
Rogelio: You are too pale for the baptism photos.
Michael: I’m a police officer! An emergency means someone is dead!
Rogelio: Well, you look like a corpse! Close enough.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Gemma: You were right. There’s no hope on this planet.
Will: That’s what I used to think. Then you showed up.

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Quotes of the Week: April 12-18

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Once Upon a Time
Mr. Gold: Maybe you should take a piece of advice from a man who has pushed away every chance at happiness because it was never enough. If it’s within your grasp, if you know where it is and who it’s with, then you should run to it, grasp it and never let it go.

Game of Thrones
Daenerys: Angry snakes lash out. Makes chopping off their heads that much easier.

Varys: You could help another climb those steps and take that seat. The Seven Kingdoms need someone stronger than Tommen, but gentler than Stanis. A monarch who can intimidate the high lords and inspire the people. A ruler loved by millions with a powerful army and the right family name.
Tyrion: Good luck finding him.
Varys: Who said anything about ‘him.’

Outlander
Jamie: You’re not normally a close-mouthed woman, Claire. I expected noisier displeasure… but, quiet anger can be very effective.

The Originals
Davina: It must *really* suck to have to be you all the time.
Klaus: It hasn’t been a picnic, honestly.

Jane the Virgin
Rogelio: Who cares if your eggs are too old. We’ll buy new ones.

The Flash
Caitlin: Is that a bird?
Cisco: It’s a plane.
Felicity: It’s my boyfriend.

Felicity: It’s kinda like I’m dating Barry, but in Oliver’s body.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
May: You’re worried that I don’t understand your choice. Well, sometimes that’s the price of doing the right thing. No one will understand, and it hurts like hell.
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Quotes of the Week: April 5-11

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

The Good Wife
Diane: The law is supposed to be fair, not impersonal.

The Originals
Klaus: Honestly, it’s all temper and no timing with this one. I, for one, am glad you gave her away so that I could be born. You should think of me as an upgrade.

Jane the Virgin
Narrator: There is a famous saying: if you can’t be with the one you love, love the identical twin of the guy you were cheating with.

Outlander
Jamie: I swear on the cross of my Lord Jesus, and by the holy iron which I hold, that I give you my fealty and pledge you my loyalty. If ever my hand is raised in rebellion against you again, then I ask that this holy iron may piece my heart.

Jamie: Seems I cannot possess your soul without losing my own.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Coulson: You always travel with whiskey and shot glasses?
Hunter: Never know when you need something to keep you warm on a cold night.
Coulson: Two glasses?
Hunter: The other one’s for the person keeping me warm…but in your case I’ll make an exception.

New Girl
Fawn: You don’t really strike me as the “networking” type. You’re more of a “follow a butterfly around for a day” kinda gal.

Schmidt: How about a fake beard? Get some double-sided tape, we can shave Winston’s cat…

iZombie
Blaine: I made you a zombie, but I would never make you a whore.

Younger
Maggie: Last time I was in New Jersey, it was illegal to pump your own gas.
Liza: It still is.
Maggie: Still? So, same-sex marriage is legal, but pumping your own gas isn’t?
Liza: Yup.
Maggie: I like New Jersey!

12 Monkeys
Ramse: It took time travel to create time travel. There are no straight lines.

Quotes of the Week: Feb. 15-21

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also just random things I happen to be watching.

Shameless
Doctor: “Are you retarded, Frank?”
Frank: “No.”
Doctor: “Then get your shit together.”

The Originals
Jackson: “You brought me a bag of werewolf heads.”
Klaus: “I kind of thought you’d see it as an early wedding present.”

Jackson: “I pledge to honor and defend you and yours, above all others.”
Hayley: “To share in blessings and burdens. To be your advocate. Your champion.”
Jackson: “To be your comfort. Your sanctuary. And for as long as we both shall live.”
Hayley: “To be your family.”
Jackson: “To be your family.”

Gotham
Leslie: “There are plenty of things in this world that can’t be explained by rational science.”
Jim: “Yeah, people who enjoy folk dancing, for instance. Doesn’t mean ghosts exist.”

Jane the Virgin
Jane: “Hey, Rogelio.”
Rogelio: “Dad. You’re locked into Dad now.”
Jane: “Dad. Got it.”

The Flash
Iris: “Do you actually know anything about Physics?”
Mason: “Not a thing. It might as well be in Dothraki.”

Professor Stein: “I’m still inside Ronald.”
Cisco: “There has to be a better way to phrase that.”

Cisco: “You guys are like ten seasons of Ross and Rachel but, just like, smushed into one year.”

About a Boy
Fiona: “Oh, cabbage. You are not what men want.”

Fiona: “Right. Now you’re gonna get a lecture: 1. you’re a rubbish chaperone; 2. you are a *very* poor judge of character; 3. you’re far too tall, Sasquatch; 4. you’re an idiot; 5. snip, snip, snip on your eyebrows, okay? 6. your hair’s too big and it’s not the humidity!”

Agent Carter
Peggy: “Have you ever been hanged, Mr. Jarvis?”
Jarvis: “I can’t say that I have, no.”
Peggy: “It is quite unpleasant!”

Dooley: “I’m supposed to believe that you pulled off your own investigation without any of us noticing.”
Sousa: “Why would you go through all that trouble instead of coming to one of us?”
Peggy: “I conducted my own investigation because no one listens to me. I got away with it because no one looks at me. Because, unless I have your reports, your coffee or your lunch, I am invisible!”

Peggy: “I’ve just thought of something.”
Jarvis: “We’re still attached to a table.”
Peggy: ” We are *still* attached to a table.”

New Girl
Winston: “I will say one thing about that man that I’ve only said about Ryan Gosling: hot damn!”

Nick: “You know what the problem with Jordan Catalano is?”
Jess: “Yeah, an undiagnosed learning disability!”

Nick: “I touched both your mother’s breasts in a communal womb earlier today. I didn’t do it on purpose, but there it is.”

Justified
Constable Bob: “Hell yeah I got a badge. And I got balls like Death Stars. Let’s do this.”

The Goldbergs
Barry: “Erica wins! She called me the TV character I like!”

Pops: “See, the problem here is, you horribly interpreted my advice.”

The 100
Lincoln: “Just let him kill me, then take him out. Please! Your people need you.”
Clarke: “You are my people.”

Hindsight
Lolly: “You look like a scared toon about to be dipped by Christopher Lloyd.”

Suits
Harvey: “I can’t believe it, you have no idea what to say! What’s today’s date? I wanna write this down.”
Donna: “You know what? It’s the 7th of kiss my ass and tomorrow’s the 8th of set your own goddamn meetings.”
Harvey: “Is that the Mayan calendar?”
Donna: “Nope. That’s the Donna calendar.”

Harvey: “Who is *she*?”
Mike: “That’s that lawyer.”
Harvey: “Why didn’t you tell me she was hot?”
Mike: “Because it’s not relevant?”
Harvey: “It is to me.”
Mike: “Why?”
Harvey: “Because she’s hot.”

The Vampire Diaries
Damon: “Today isn’t the worst day of your life. Today and tomorrow, that’s a cake walk. There’ll be people around you day in and day out, like they’re afraid to leave you alone. The worst day? That’s next week. When there’s nothing but quiet.”

Jo: “You can’t throw a pity proposal at a pregnant, ex-witch!”

Hart of Dixie
Wade: “Life was so much simpler before you and I became friends.”

Gilmore Girls
Reverend: “You know, Rory, being a young lady comes with many gifts. Your virtue, for example, is a gift. A precious gift. Possibly the most precious gift you possess.”
Rory: “Uh-huh?”
Reverend: “You wanna give this gift very carefully. It is a gift you can only give to one man. Once you give it, it’s gone. You can’t re-gift it. If you give it away too soon, to the wrong man, then when the right one does come along, you have no gift to give. You’ll have to buy him a sweater. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Rory: “No.”
Reverend: “Think long and hard about when and to whom you want to give the ultimate gift you have to give away.”
Rory: “Oh.”
Reverend: “Yes.”
Rory: “Oh, dear.”
Reverend: “Oh, dear, indeed.”
Rory: “Uhm, well, listen, Reverend, I really appreciate you taking the time out of, what I assume is, a busy day, to come here and talk to me about all of this, but I’m afraid the ultimate gift ship has sailed.”
Reverend: “What?”
Rory: “A while ago. It’s probably in Fiji by now.”

12 Monkeys
Striking Woman: “You’re walking through a red forest and the grass is tall.”

Cole: “Everybody’s got two wolves inside ’em and both of ’em are starving. One wolf is anger, envy, pride. The other is truth, kindness. Everyday they tear each other apart, but it’s not the better wolf that wins, it’s the one you feed.”

8 Romantic Couples…

Valentine’s Day is on Saturday and, even though no one will be sending me flowers this weekend, I can still appreciate a good romance. It would have been impossible to create a list of my favorite couples of *all time* so, instead, I just chose couples from shows that are currently on TV.

1. Beverly and Murray – The Goldbergs
I love these two so much. They do not often express their love for each other with words, but you know that the love is always there.



2. Patrick and Kevin – Looking
Even though they seem to be split up for the moment, I am guessing that things are not over for good. I just think that they are really adorable together and Kevin needs to get his shit together, break-up with his boyfriend and just be with Patrick.



3. Octavia and Lincoln – The 100
Okay, so Lincoln may currently be addicted to some drug that the Mount Weather folks gave him but, they continue to fight for each other through everything and I believe that their love is strong.



4. Mickey and Ian – Shameless
I have loved this couple from the very beginning of the series. You can tell that they really care for each other. They are currently going through a bit of a rough patch, but they always seem to find their way back.

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