The Real O’Neals

Quotes of the Week: October 16-22

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Shameless
Lip: Slut.
Fiona: I know you are, but what am I?

Masters of Sex
Bill: They don’t see what you and Helen have done. That you’ve made a family.

Supergirl
Clark: If the bullets don’t work, why the punching? I never understood that.

Winn: I get to make Superman’s new suit?
Clark: No pressure.

Winn: Family is not about score-keeping, or who did more, it’s just about showing up.

Jane the Virgin
Jane: Why won’t you give up?
Michael: Because I’m a fighter. You should know that about me. I’m a fighter.

Timeless
Lucy: We saved Judith Campbell. Kept history the same.
Agent Christopher: But Garcia Flynn is still alive, and he got away with an atomic bomb!
Wyatt: The situation was chaotic.
Rufus: On the up side, we’re finally starting to gel as a team.

The West Wing
President Bartlet: Keep talking. I’m just going to sit here and think about plutonium, and the things I can do with it.

The Flash
Barry: He’s just blaming you for all the bad things he’s caused in his life.

No Tomorrow
Dierdre: I trust the cup holder is of sufficient diameter for a man of your thirsts.

Xavier: I like that you really thought about your word choice and then went with ‘rigamarole.’

Kareema: Everyone’s trying to make sense of an illogical world. That’s just his way. It’s not the only way.

Kareema: Maybe he’s crazy. Maybe what I’m doing is crazy too but, maybe sometimes crazy’s worth it.

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Quotes of the Week: October 9-15

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, mostly from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Supergirl
Alex: Your cousin smells terrific.

Clark: Being Kara is just as important as being Supergirl.

Clark: Up, up?
Kara: And away!

Lucifer
Lucifer: Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire.
Chloe: Lucifer.
Lucifer: I mean, I’ve heard of hot pants, but this really brings new meaning to the term “fire crotch,” doesn’t it?
Chloe: Lucifer!
Lucifer: Wait. I have more. Smokey Bobinson. Weekend at Burnie’s.
Ella: His burning bush?
Lucifer: Oh. Very good. That was actually me, by the way, so don’t tell anyone.

Lucifer: I punish because I’m good at it. I love giving people their due. Makes me happy.

Conviction
Hayes: If you don’t want me to sleep with waiters from Mom’s campaign events, don’t hire hot ones.

Hayes: Next time you want to check up on me, find a different spy, because I’m never sleeping with someone already in bed with my mother.

Timeless
Wyatt: An actor.
Lucy: Pretty well-known too. But his brother, Edwin, was literally the most famous actor in America. John never quite measured up.
Rufus: So, this is like if Donnie Wahlberg assassinated the president.
Lucy: Pretty much, actually.

The Flash
Barry: I’ve kissed Iris West twice, and I have managed to erase both times from existence!
Felicity: Yeah, I hate it when that happens.

Felicity: Everybody likes Barry Allen. You’re like pudding. Everybody likes pudding.

Jay: Are you just gonna take a do-over every time you make a mistake? Or will you live with them, and move forward?

Iris: Where ever you go, you’ll always be Barry, and I’ll always be Iris. We always find each other.

New Girl
Jess: You can’t be mad at these people.
Schmidt: But they were all horrible to me, Jess.
Jess: And that’s why you left. You created your own path. You changed cities. You made friends. You found your purpose. You met the love of your life!
Schmidt: I sure did.

The Real O’Neals
Jodi: I’ll make you a deal. I’ll do the modeling gig if you go out with VP Murray on a real date.
Eileen: And why would I do that?
Jodi: Because it’s National Coming Out Day. And if I can come out as someone who’s plus-size, you can come out as someone who’s got a crush on a thin man in Lycra.
Eileen: Of all the fabrics in all the world, he had to wear that one.

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Quotes of the Week: April 25-April 30

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Jane the Virgin
Rafael: Hey, uh, you wanna maybe change a diaper?
Petra: No, thanks. I changed one a few days ago.

Rogelio: We want to capture Eleanor’s inner beauty, but on the outside.

Jane: Marry the salt shakers.
Anezka: …Do you, salt, take you, salt?

Lucifer
Lucifer: Why don’t we just skip that part and go straight to the main course?
Chloe: Because it’s incredibly impulsive and shortsighted.
Lucifer: Have you noticed that’s my jam?

Blindspot
Jane: When I see you here, at the end of the day, I feel safe.

New Girl
J. Cronkite: I must say, this is not my favorite sort of white people in here.
Nick: Me neither. My favorite kind of white people are redheads with high socks. Male or female.

Cece: The very fact that socks exist is proof that shoes don’t work.

The Flash
Jesse: Bio Chem was one of my majors in college.
Barry: *One* of your majors? How many did you have?
Jesse: Five. What? Is that not common here?

Joe: I can’t watch you be a human punching bag until he turns into Grandpa Simpson.

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Quotes of the Week: April 3-10

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Shameless
Rita: Do I need to call the police?
Ian: Sure. That’s what most people do when they see someone with a mental illness.
Rita: No. You got let go because you lied on your employment application
Ian: Bullshit. What do you think I should have done? Would you have hired me if I had checked that box that said I had a mental illness? What kind of choice is that? Tell the truth, you don’t get the job. Lie, maybe they’ll never find out. What would you do? You’d lie. So would you. So would you. You think because I’m bipolar, an illness that I am managing, by the way, that I can’t do this job where half the people you deal with are mentally ill? Are living on the streets because they can’t get help, or are too sick to know they even need help? You wouldn’t refuse to hire me if I was in a wheelchair, if I had a physical handicap, or HIV. No, because it is illegal to discriminate against someone who is handicapped, and I… I am handicapped. It’s not my fault. I didn’t do anything to bring this on myself. I have a disease. If I show up one day and I’m acting all freaky, then you, or you, or you, Rita, you tell me to go home, and I will go, but don’t tell me I can’t do this job.

Grantchester
Sidney: Maybe my type doesn’t exist.
Geordie: Or is already married?

Quantico
Alex: There’s no such thing as the truth. There’s what you think, what the other person thinks, and then what the world remembers.

The Real O’Neals
Eileen: Look away!
Kenny: What are you doing?
Eileen: I’m eating gay cake on the toilet.

Jimmy: Is this what we’re doing? We’re letting God take out Grandma?

iZombie
Vaughn: That’s Rob Thomas. I mean, there’s something so compelling about the stuff he writes.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Coulson: Gotta admit, this time stuff’s always been a little over my head. Like in Terminator, if John Connor’s alive and able to send his friend back in time to save his mom to make sure he’s born, doesn’t that mean he doesn’t have to?
Lincoln: I, uh, never saw the original Terminator
Coulson: You’re off the team.

Daisy: Wait, what are you gonna do?
Coulson: Find Grant Ward. Yeah. Day got weirder.

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Quotes of the Week: March 20-26

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Daredevil
Frank: People that can hurt you, the ones that can really hurt you, are the ones that are close enough to do it. People that get inside you and… and… and tear you apart, and make you feel like you’re never gonna recover. Shit. I’d-I-I would chop my arm off right here, in this restaurant, just to feel that one more time for my wife. My old lady, she didn’t just break my heart. She… she’d rip it out, she’d tear it apart, she’d step on that shit, feed it to a dog. I mean, she was ruthless. She brought the pain. But she’ll never hurt me again. You see, I’ll never feel that. You sit here and you’re all confused about this thing, but you have it. You have everything. So, hold on to it. Use two hands and never let go. You got it?

Supergirl
Cat: If Mel Gibson can present at the Golden Globes, then Supergirl can win the city back.

Lucy: It all makes sense now.

Siobhan: Seriously? I have too much self-esteem to kill myself.

Jane the Virgin
Pablo: Electricity is a funny thing. No one really understands it.

Lucifer
Lucifer: Frank Lawrence. The most evil of people have the most normal names, I’ve experienced. Beware anyone named Keith.

Father Lawrence: We might not always understand it, but God has a plan.
Lucifer: Yes, I know. But, why does everybody always think it’s a *good* plan?

Lost Girl
Bo: It’s the end of an era.

Kensi: Who needs weapons when you’ve got…mascara and heels?

Bo: I promise you will not grow up a lost girl.

The Flash
Dr. Wells: You lose a chunk of your humanity every time you compromise your values.

Cisco: Why do the crazy ones always name themselves?

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Quotes of the Week: March 13-19

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Once Upon a Time
Regina: You defeated me in a way no one thought was possible. You made me your friend, by never giving up on me.

Shameless
Mandy: Don’t worry about him. He’s dead.

Mandy: Just ’cause we were born here, doesn’t mean that we end up here.

Supergirl
Kara: Don’t be jealous. Or do. I don’t really care.

Kara: I would be jealous of anyone you loved.

Cat: I don’t believe in failure. Not if you get back up and face the music.

Lucifer
Lucifer: Speak of the me.

Bitten
Sasha: Torn between my Alpha and my love. My duty and my dream.

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Quotes of the Week: March 6-12

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

House of Cards
Francis: To mourn is not to fear. To grieve is not to admit defeat.

Francis: That’s right. We don’t submit to terror. We make the terror.

Once Upon a Time
Henry: So, who’s ready for Operation Firebird?

Downton Abbey
Spratt: I’m full of ideas when it comes to combining comfort and elegance, m’lady.

Violet: Don’t be mysterious. It’s the last resort of people with no secrets.

Bertie: Would you believe me if I said I couldn’t live without you?
Edith: You’ve done a pretty good job of living without me lately.
Bertie: I’ve done a very bad job.

Mrs. Patmore: You know your problem?
Daisy: I bet I soon will.

Lord Merton: As my son, I love you, but I’ve tried and failed to like you!

Jane the Virgin
Paola: I miss my mother everyday. Sometimes, I wish I hadn’t killed her.

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