The Voice

Quotes of the Week: April 26-May2

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Game of Thrones
Brienne: Nothing’s more hateful than failing to protect the one you love.

Varys: Someone who inspires priests *and* whores is worth taking seriously.

The Voice
CeeLo: Country is your core, not just your cowboy boots.

Jane the Virgin
Xo: Where is that music coming from?
Jane: Oh, from my pants.

Turn: Washington’s Spies
Robert: You are a boy, playing a man, playing a spy, and each one of them a liar.

The Flash
Cisco: This is so trippy. Like, Marty-and-the-Polaroid trippy.

Eddie: This all keeps getting crazier and crazier.

New Girl
Nick: You are the *least* qualified person to call themselves a doctor of love. Exhibit A: you dated me. I rest my case.

Nick: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol. That’s science.

Schmidt: I just can’t stand to be in here any longer! Surrounded by these underpants! Red ones! And yellow ones! And blue ones! And pink ones! And this woman, with her brazier slash teddy! Underpants everywhere! They’re driving me nuts! I feel like I got underpants all over my body!

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Ward: This is great. We finally got the team back together!

Skye: I’m still happy I shot you.
Fitz: Yeah, me too.
Simmons: Shoulda aimed for the face.
May: Yeah.

iZombie
Ravi: Can we just talk about you being a zombie? Brain eating, being undead. These are things you can discuss at length with me, but I can’t give you the…girlfriend experience.
Liv: I don’t think that means what you think it means.

Clive: They didn’t get this at IKEA
Liv: No, this is what Rumpelstiltskin carves for you when you promise him your firstborn.

Dylan: Look, Beetlejuice, I don’t remember saying your name three times, so stay the hell out of my business.

Arrow
Ra’s: Oliver Queen is alive only in the past. He is forgotten.

Felicity: How did you get in here?
Thea: My dad’s a super villain and you…left your door’s unlocked.

Diggle: There’s only one thing left of him now.
Laurel: And what’s that?
Diggle: Us.
Thea: Gone but never forgotten.

Orphan Black
Donnie: We should have been drug dealers years ago!

Helena: Dirty Paul, who lays with my sisters. Even Rachel. Come inside. Have another.

Quotes of the Week: March 8-14

These are my favorite quotes from the past week, not just from shows currently on the air, but also other random things I happen to be watching.

Once Upon a Time
Regina: If you ensured her goodness, why can’t you tell her?
Mary-Margaret: The same reason you don’t want Henry to hear about all the terrible things you did in your past. You wanna protect him, so he doesn’t lose faith in the person you’ve become, the person he always believed you could be. That’s why Emma can never find out what I’m about to tell you. She’s finally starting to open up her heart. And if she learns the truth, if we let her down, she’ll lose faith in us, and it could send her tumbling down a dark path. Because when you betray the people you love, when you make them see the worst parts of you, what you’ve done changes everything. There’s no going back. You’ve shattered the bonds you worked so hard to forge. And the stronger those bonds once were, the more difficult they are the put back together, if they can be repaired at all.

Shameless
Frank: Prison is no place for a man with naturally tight glutes.

Frank: I’m the goddamn father-of-the-bride. Why didn’t I get an invitation?
Sammy: Because you’re an untrained dog, Pops, and no one wants you shitting on the floor.

House of Lies
Marty: Prison makes smarter criminals.

Looking
Kevin: You’re very cute when you’re wrong.

The Voice
Meghan: So, you gotta pick *one* of them? How do you sleep at night?
Blake: I don’t. I drink.

Jane the Virgin
Rogelio: Turns out I’m equally talented in outer space as I am here on Earth.

Justified
Raylan: Zachariah Randolph.
Tim: Let me guess. Local boy. How come no one down here is ever named Steve or Justin?

Ty: Bullshit. You shot me in the back.
Raylan: If you wanted to get hit in the front, you should have run *toward* me.

Raylan: You’re a good lawyer. All the good ones have ponytails.

Ava: Your neck is just as red as mine, you just don’t see it ’cause you’re always walkin’ forward.

The 100
Clarke: I tried…I tried to be the good guy.
Abbie: Maybe there are no good guys.

Clarke: I bear it so they don’t have to.

Empire
Lucious: You know how God made man in his image? I’m making Hakeem in *my* image. God didn’t need no help, and neither do I.

Hindsight
Lolly: What am I doing with my life? Is there a god? Does Jordan Catalano really love me? Etcetera.

Sebastian: I care about you in a way that’s totally appropriate and non-sexual.

The Vampire Diaries
Liam: Caroline Forbes. The girl from the swimming hole.
Caroline: Liam. The boy I totally forgot existed!

Caroline: You know how cute guys just naturally taste better?